Thoughts on men that like younger women

[namechangeagain12]

So I seem to come across a lot of blokes late 20's early 30's who like younger girls, between 19-21. I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

I remember when I was 19 at uni and my flat mate's 29 year old friend was trying to sleep with me - I thought he was weird as hell! I was never a immature 19 year old but still, 19 to me is still VERY young.

Is this totally normal? Am I being unreasonable here for judging a bloke for constantly liking younger girls photos? I appreciate these girls look late 20's but for some reason it freaks me out and puts me right off them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, just after a gentle discussion

[Myotherusernamewastakenagain]

What about these same girls that like older men?

[MsDFye]

Wait until you're in your 40s and still meeting blokes your own age who prefer 20 something girlfriends!

[MrFaceyRomford]

Sorry, 19 is not "VERY young". You are an adult and can vote.

[Dollyrocket]

Or men in their 50’s still perving over teenagers.. 🤮

[overnightangel]

So what you’re saying is you don’t approve of men in their late 20s ‘liking’ photos of girls who look like they’re in their late 20s because once a man in his late 20s was weird to you?

[MrsPworkingmummy]

I think you're being unreasonable. Live and let live and all that.

You'd be horrified to hear my husband was 40 when he started dating me at 22.12 years later, and we're still going strong.

[noseresearch]

Honestly I agree op, also it seems so common with celebs. From top of my head I can think of Scott Disick and Sofia Richie (she is closer in age to his son than him!!), Florence Pugh (23) and Zac Braff (45), Richard Madden dating a 21 year old

I also hate the double standards that it's more accepted with the guy being older but if the woman is older people are more likely to make rude comments

I know plenty of people argue 18-21 is a grown adult etc, but I remember when I was 18 people in their 30s seemed so old, plus being a student still living at home I had very little life experience.

[RoscoePColtrane]

I'm in my 40s and much prefer younger men. Less baggage, great sex, don't want anything serious. No rule book that says I have to only speak to men my own age.

[noseresearch]

Although I should add I guess I don't have as strong views to think it's 'disgusting', it's a free country and all but I guess it makes me slightly disappointed when some men (late 20s / 30s +) only go for very young women. It makes me think they're more likely to be superficial

[PickAChew]

I do think there is a certain type of man who always salivates over very young women. Doesn't seem extreme in their late 20s, but when they're 50 odd and haven't moved on, it's deeply unpleasant.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

I agree with you but it has been so normalised in society that young women=sexy that you often even get women defending this position. The bitter truth is that men in their late 20s-30s+ who like 19-21 year olds are often perverts and tend to go for the girls who look (or act) even younger than their age.

[Sparklfairy]

I get what you mean. It's not always creepy, but the fat, balding men in their fifties who feel entitled to a woman in her 20s are rife on OLD. It can work out if two people happen to find each other, but there's definitely a certain "type" that seem attracted to the teenage look no matter how old they are themselves

[noseresearch]

The double standard that men get better with age is annoying, in my experience the middle aged women I know look better than their male counterparts anyway.

Plus men are actually allowed to visibly age, women have such high beauty standards

[Mnthrowaway20202]

As a 22 year old, I think it’s weird too. It’s always loser men (for want of a better description) who can’t find anyone their own age as they don’t want him.

I think there’s just an imbalance. When I was 19 I worked full time on minimum wage whilst also at university full time. I was constantly broke but also constantly partying etc. Beyond sex what could I offer a 30 year old?

I see someone who’s 30 as much older/mature/experienced, who if successful has probably got a decent job in their chosen field, degree, house, car, previous LTRs etc, and also probably mellowed out compared to me. A successful 30 year old wouldn’t want a 19 year old, they would want someone on the same “level” and experience as them.

Whereas a 30 year old who’s a bit of a loser (no/shit job, living with parents, uneducated etc) and unattractive to those his own age, probably enjoys the malleable nature of a 19 year old.

[RomeoLikedCapuletGirls]

I know this is an incredibly sexist thing to say and not indicative of all men but.. I think on some level older men like the power imbalance that comes with dating a woman who is less experienced, less knowledgeable and earns less money.

It’s also why it’s always the woman who gives up work.

[noseresearch]

@mnthrowaway20202 I agree with what you're saying, but as it's so normalised these days I know of many normal or successful men who only date young women (so it's not just 'loser' men imo)

Yet I'm in my mid twenties and I'd prefer not to date a 19 year old because as you rightfully said were in such different life stages

[45redballoon]

I'd be wary of an older guy who routinely went after very young women... I'd judge him negatively. It's usually about power and wanting a naive partner that they can tell any old shit to and get away with more with.
I dont judge age gap relationships tho because sometimes two people just fall for each other and theres a big gap in age.
I think it is different if it's a routine thing and a man is deliberately seeking out younger partners tho.

[namechangeagain12]

I agree with a lot of what's said on here, only only to what I said but the opposite. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a 40 year old being with a 22 year old. It's the successful men with good jobs their own house going for the 'kids' still at uni!

To me 19 is VERY young and I'm only 29... maybe I judge that on how I was at 19. I wasn't at all immature but I was just lit of school, I was at uni, working part time. My only goal was partying and studying. I had nothing at all to offer an older man! Agreed you are an adult but only just...

[Xandrats]

To me 19 is VERY young and I'm only 29

I agree. To be in a relationship with a 30 year old at that age is very young. I wouldn't want my daughter doing it.


Being old enough to vote doesn't mean they arent young. What an odd thing to say.

[Saltystraw]

When I was 21 I was with a 29 year old. I barely noticed the difference. We were together for 5 years and bought a house together, had similar goals etc. it just depends on the people.

[Sadiesnakes]

I have a 21 & 19yr old dds, both act their age, which is incredible young. Anyone who normalizes older men, 30+ perving or dating girls that age are either men or don't have daughters that age to understand how wrong it is.

[DKanin]

In my experience of having older boyfriends, in their late 20s, when I was 17-21, looking back I think there was something wrong with them. I don't think they were able to relate to women their own age. I was very fortunate in that I don't feel the ones I got involved with were predatory, I'd say they were a bit easily led and drippy. I was a bit full of myself as a teenage girl who'd just discovered the miraculous confidence makeup brought, but I think there's something a bit concerning about a 28 year old bloke running after a 16 year old girl like an idiot and doing everything she says. Now I'm in my 30s, the men my age who are dating much younger girls seem to be desperate to avoid settling down and regard women their own age as horrible witches trying to trick them into marriage and parenthood

[WanderingMilly]

I agree with you op, but for entirely different reasons.
To realise my 60-something ex has had a child with a woman of 30 (same age as his daughter) also didn't sit right, although none of my business and loads of posters will now come on here to say that a 30-year difference is perfectly fine....

[Destroyedpeople]

I don't see anything wrong with a woman of 21 being with a man ten years older. ..it hardly makes him a paedophile does it?
She wd be better off with him than with a man her own age Tbh.

[MyOwnSummer]

Consenting adults, fair enough. Many age gap relationships work very wwll. But it is often a red flag for an inadequate, immature or controlling man hence why people find it odd.