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The Ick

(30 Posts)
Isrhisavalidusername Thu 28-May-20 21:54:12

Tell me about it?
Can you work past it? If so how?
I think I have the Ick, I have an awesome OH but how do I know if what I'm feeling is the Ick or not.

OP’s posts: |
RUOKHon Thu 28-May-20 21:58:04

There was such an amazing thread on here about The Ick. I think it was moved to Classics in the end.

I’m afraid the general consensus was that once you get The Ick, you can’t go back.

What was it that did it for you?

RUOKHon Thu 28-May-20 22:01:21

Here you go

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3784524-To-think-you-cant-get-past-the-ick-im-a-relationship

Isrhisavalidusername Thu 28-May-20 22:05:54

Thankyou I shall read that whole thread with interest.

My Ick is. Talking in a babyish way to me about normal everyday things. Like aww wook can you see the birdie. (It's given me rage just typing it) that's just one example.

Being OTT about everything. Look what I did. Aren't I good?

I don't know if it's just me being miserable I'm pretty reserved and quiet and they are the polar opposite of me.

OP’s posts: |
RUOKHon Thu 28-May-20 22:14:08

I was going to ask you if it was that he does something really babyish. Because that is such a common cause of Ick. You’ll see so many examples on that thread. Everything will be fine and then the man will do something that makes him seem infantile and it’s like flicking a switch. Your relationship dynamic goes from ‘sexual partnership’ to ‘parent/child’ in an instant. And from then in everything feels incestuous and gross.

BrandoraPaithwaite Thu 28-May-20 22:24:05

I have decided to reserve judgement about whether aspects of home life and DP are actually unbearable until normal life resumes.

I've had rage a good few times over seemingly minor stuff and it might just be lockdown cabin fever. Could you put off deciding on Ick diagnosis till a review point at a later date?

RUOKHon Thu 28-May-20 22:26:42

I think that being really, really fucking irritated by someone is not the same as the Ick, which is when you’re viscerally repulsed by then.

Sparklfairy Thu 28-May-20 22:29:48

Lockdown could be making it worse, but IME once you get the ick you can't go back.

Mine was he suddenly felt comfortable enough to start picking his nose around me. He wasn't subtle about it either. He'd have a good old root around for minutes at a time, take it out, sniff loudly, then start again envy I remember ringing my mum and saying he has some kind of weird obsession with his snout, he just can't leave it alone. Honestly it was incessant. Then he'd want to hold my hand envyenvyenvy

Once the ick started, everything he did annoyed me. He had to go.

ThisIsGonnaHurt Thu 28-May-20 22:30:43

The baby ish thing is so unattractive. I was with an ex and the first time we had sex he said something during in a baby ish voice, instant ick.

With DH he does it very occasionally but not in a bad enough way that it gives me the ick.

I was dreadful with getting the ick with men in the past, I could go from being absolutely head over heels to the complete ick in a second.

Isrhisavalidusername Thu 28-May-20 22:32:33

See I'm wondering if lockdown is making this worse. It just seems like everything he says is baby talk to me and it's really getting on my tits.

Ooh nose picker poster did they pick it then flick it? Because I've seen that happen 🤮

OP’s posts: |
HMSSophie Thu 28-May-20 22:40:58

I think the ick is reality emerging all of a sudden. Shattering of loves young dream.

Ilovetheseventies Thu 28-May-20 22:43:03

Yes had the ick so many times. Once you know you know and there's no going back.

Sparklfairy Thu 28-May-20 22:46:09

Ooh nose picker poster did they pick it then flick it? Because I've seen that happen

No but my dad is guilty of that confused on when he drives though. Picks his nose and rolls it between his fingers before dropping it in the little compartment behind the handbrake envy actually is that some kind of weird Freudian thing if I attract manky nose pickers? grin

kgal3542 Thu 28-May-20 22:58:15

@Sparklfairy
I know what you mean !
I am on borrowed time in a relationship, I am trying to save to escape, but can i share what gave me the ICK over the years?
Cleaning his shoes over the kitchen sink
Clipping his finger nails over the kitchen sink
Sniffing. . . from his heels !
Leaving dirty crockery and cutlery on a clean draining board
Leaving used disposable razors on a clean draining board
Switching radio off or switching stations
Calling neighbours rotten ( some of them are ok)
Scrutinising people & saying they are fat (sometimes to their face)
NEVER washing his hands, he just flips them under tap
Would happily lie on the settee all day
What the actual f did i ever see in him?
(He initially oozed charm & lovebombed, i'm the mug who fell for it)

Isrhisavalidusername Thu 28-May-20 23:03:44

@kgal342 I hear you I could add so much more to that but I'm torn between being picky or just having the Ick.

OP’s posts: |
PickAChew Thu 28-May-20 23:06:02

I've never met your partner and have the ick already!

kgal3542 Thu 28-May-20 23:08:24

@ThisIsGonnaHurt
"I was dreadful with getting the ick with men in the past. I could go from being absolutely head over heels in love to the complete ick in a second"
This. Do you think that some celebs ( eg Katie Price) has this, and can not shake it off? Once the ick is complete, there's no going back.

BlueJava Thu 28-May-20 23:08:25

I was ready to say YABU,.. then I read what gave you the ick. Definitely that would do it for me.

MomsPubis Thu 28-May-20 23:11:57

After a sexual act, he looked me in the eye and said 'that was very nice, thank you very much!' In the same tone you would use after someone had served you a meal.

My brain just went FUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Isrhisavalidusername Thu 28-May-20 23:22:42

I'm really trying to not BU but I'm verging on flipping

OP’s posts: |
Weejo39 Thu 28-May-20 23:31:07

I dated someone for a good 2 years, when I visited his parents abroad, this mother served dinner and the cutlery he used to eat the chicken breast with was a fork and spoon! He happily tore his chicken to bits and shovelled it in with the spoonhmm I also witnessed him on the same trip, pick his nose, then eat it!!!shock I mean, a grown man, I couldn't believe it. Ick

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel Thu 28-May-20 23:32:16

I was dreadful with getting the ick with men in the past, I could go from being absolutely head over heels to the complete ick in a second.

Oh I was like that. Adored them one minute, looked at their socks/shoes - complete ick immediately!

Agree with once the Ick sets in it's too late.

Allthecandles Thu 28-May-20 23:40:48

There must be a lockdown Ick clause though surely?
Fair enough in most cases you can’t get back from The Ick.
BUT these are special circumstances. I have personally argued over kitchen roll. Maybe in a few weeks you’ll have chance to get some space in the day and will feel better.
But shut that baby talk down now.

Vodkacranberryplease Thu 28-May-20 23:43:45

This thread is making me laugh so much 😁.

But there is the dating advice that says if you want a man to not do something tell them it's not sexy/hot/a turn on. Vice versa if you do. May not be a conversation you recover from but then neither is the ick.

Baby voices 🤮. Nose picking 🤮. And my personal one dirty great tracksuit bottoms 🤮. Don't they know how bad that looks? Even at home.

Vodkacranberryplease Thu 28-May-20 23:44:16

Dirty grey I mean. Like those awful ones you see. Ick

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