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Writing wills

(15 Posts)
HappyBee18 Thu 28-May-20 19:33:45

My boyfriend and I have been in a strong happy relationship for 10 years. We had our baby 20 months ago and have been thinking about writing wills. We both own a house (separate mortgages)
He owns half his house with his mum, it’s in negative equity, needs work doing and he currently rents it to his cousin.
My house is being paid off and making regular overpayments.
I didn’t return to work following the birth of our son, my boyfriend is so supportive of this and actively encouraged it.
Anyway, we started discussing the wills tonight and I was, rightly or wrongly, quite shocked that he said he wants his estate to be shared as follows - 50% To our son, 30% to me, and 20% to his mum.

In my will I was just going to put everything to him.

Am I right to feel a bit shocked and put out by this or is this ‘normal’?

OP’s posts: |
Kabakofte Thu 28-May-20 20:56:17

Maybe make a mirror will but I definitely would not contemplate leaving him 100% especially as he has a property of his own. Imagine a scenario whereby he inherits your house, he then marries and then all of the inheritance potentially passes to his wife and nothing to your son, it happened to a friend of mine. The second wife refused to even let her have anything from the house, including childhood items (no monetary value, only sentimental, eg childhood photoalbums) it went to court and the 2nd wife won (as my friend's father had died without making a will the second wife inherited it all). Now you might think that would never happen but its far more common than you think. I would leave it all to your son.

HappyHammy Thu 28-May-20 21:00:47

is it because he and his mum own a house between them, what would happen to that house if he were to die?

Mumoftwoyoungkids Thu 28-May-20 21:08:26

If the house is in negative equity then he hasn’t actually got anything to leave.

But no that isn’t normal I don’t think. Our wills leave everything to each other. And then the kids if we both die.

Aussiebean Thu 28-May-20 21:16:13

We have left our share of the house to our dc with the proviso that the surviving partner can stay in the house.

Mum4Fergus Thu 28-May-20 21:18:40

I have left everything to DS...DH will get proceeds of a joint life insurance policy if I go first.

CharmerLlama Thu 28-May-20 21:21:36

Unless your BF has a shed load of money in savings you'll be getting 30% of nothing anyway. I certainly wouldn't be leaving him 100% in my own will if that's his attitude. After 10 years why on earth would he be leaving a fifth to his mother?

CookieDoughKid Thu 28-May-20 21:22:16

I think your boyfriend is being quite sensible tbh. His mum may need care if he's longer around whereas you will continue to have earning power. It also secures your son's inheritance incase you marry to someone new.

Raidblunner Fri 29-May-20 00:28:53

Your boyfriend is just being prudent. Currently you and your son will inherit the majority share of his property anyway. Your sons only 20 months so as his mother you would have control of the assets in the event of your boyfriends death. If it's in negative equity at the moment it will some years before the value of the property catches up with debt. Wouldn't bother me if someone cut me in that deal.

lifestooshort123 Fri 29-May-20 08:11:11

Imagine a scenario whereby he inherits your house, he then marries and then all of the inheritance potentially passes to his wife and nothing to your son,

He's not 'your son', he's 'their son'!! Surely he loves his son and would write a new will if he remarried leaving something to him?

iwantmyownicecreamvan Fri 29-May-20 11:32:23

lifestooshort123

*Imagine a scenario whereby he inherits your house, he then marries and then all of the inheritance potentially passes to his wife and nothing to your son, *

He's not 'your son', he's 'their son'!! Surely he loves his son and would write a new will if he remarried leaving something to him?

Maybe not though - people change, he may have more children and with them being younger might justify leaving nothing to the older son by saying the younger ones need more help. I can think of a couple of examples of similar things happening to people I know. My ex is still alive but I can guarantee he will leave nothing to our adult sons (he has no other children).

iwantmyownicecreamvan Fri 29-May-20 11:35:00

Forgot to add that I would definitely alter your will to leave a proportion to your son independently of your husband.

HappyBee18 Fri 29-May-20 11:56:28

Thanks for all you replies, you’ve given me lots of food for thought. I’ll have a think and have a chat with my boyfriend

OP’s posts: |
Dontbeme Fri 29-May-20 12:48:12

OP chat to your solicitor, they will have seen and heard it all before and it is their job to foresee any issues that may arise in the future that you may not have considered.

User002819532425 Fri 29-May-20 13:02:01

Yep. I've been the executor for a couple of wills recently and so have seen thing from both sides as it were.

In one will the widow was left a life interest with the estate ultimately going to the (adult) kids - there's more paperwork involved, but it means the situation is definite.
In the other, the estate all went to the widower. Now, they had mirror wills, so should the widower pass away NOW it all goes to the kids.
But. If the widower remarries and fails to make a new will, and/or changes his mind and makes a new will to disinherit the kids - they don't get anything, and the chance of a court challenge is not all that good unless there are special circumstances.

Hope that gives a bit of perspective.

It's actually msde me think that I should revise my own will, which I should do soon anyway as the beneficiaries will soon be old enough to be executors.

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