My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Shall I move into the spare room? Marriage awful.

5 replies

Mirandaandsteve · 28/05/2020 00:53

We've been married 12 years, two amazing, easy, kids. Marriage is in a mess, i think I panic settled, broody and single in my early 30's. H just annoys me, we have started counselling, early days. He wants me to be more loving and sexual, I want him to have a bit of conversation and be interested and supportive. I've got a lot going on, bereavement etc. Lying here in bed, he's snoring, we don't touch in bed. I would be happier in spare room but is that totally giving up? Kids would think it weird. Has anyone made it back from the spare room?

OP posts:
Report
Juanmorebeer · 28/05/2020 00:54

Do you fancy him or like him as a person?

Report
Mirandaandsteve · 28/05/2020 01:03

I shoukd fancy him, he's attractive one of those annoying people who get better with age, I just don't want sex. Not liking him much either.

OP posts:
Report
FATEdestiny · 28/05/2020 01:10

If you've recently suffered a bereavement then I wouldn't make any perinany decisions just now.

Fine to sleep in the spare room for tonight though, if you're having trouble sleeping.

Report
Seaweed42 · 28/05/2020 01:23

Hmm. You said you had a bereavement. That can be tricky and affect you in ways you think you are over it, but may not be.
I wouldn't write it off just yet. If the bereavement, etc, took your attention off your DH, then his behaviour will change as a response to that.
Likewise if he is ignoring you and not chatting, then you will feel dismissed and disconnected and shut yourself down. A vicious circle ensues. Take it step by step.
Kids can change things and create different phases in a marriage depending on their ages. Its not static.

Report
LivingThatLockdownLife · 28/05/2020 02:49

You don't need permission from anyone.

I'd do it. Couldn't stand sharing my personal space with a snorer. Never mind having suffered a bereavement and him being unsupportive.

I hope the pestering for sex hasn't continued since the bereavement.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.