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Shall I move into the spare room? Marriage awful.

(6 Posts)
Mirandaandsteve Thu 28-May-20 00:53:17

We've been married 12 years, two amazing, easy, kids. Marriage is in a mess, i think I panic settled, broody and single in my early 30's. H just annoys me, we have started counselling, early days. He wants me to be more loving and sexual, I want him to have a bit of conversation and be interested and supportive. I've got a lot going on, bereavement etc. Lying here in bed, he's snoring, we don't touch in bed. I would be happier in spare room but is that totally giving up? Kids would think it weird. Has anyone made it back from the spare room?

OP’s posts: |
Juanmorebeer Thu 28-May-20 00:54:38

Do you fancy him or like him as a person?

Mirandaandsteve Thu 28-May-20 01:03:43

I shoukd fancy him, he's attractive one of those annoying people who get better with age, I just don't want sex. Not liking him much either.

OP’s posts: |
FATEdestiny Thu 28-May-20 01:10:34

If you've recently suffered a bereavement then I wouldn't make any perinany decisions just now.

Fine to sleep in the spare room for tonight though, if you're having trouble sleeping.

Seaweed42 Thu 28-May-20 01:23:48

Hmm. You said you had a bereavement. That can be tricky and affect you in ways you think you are over it, but may not be.
I wouldn't write it off just yet. If the bereavement, etc, took your attention off your DH, then his behaviour will change as a response to that.
Likewise if he is ignoring you and not chatting, then you will feel dismissed and disconnected and shut yourself down. A vicious circle ensues. Take it step by step.
Kids can change things and create different phases in a marriage depending on their ages. Its not static.

LivingThatLockdownLife Thu 28-May-20 02:49:49

You don't need permission from anyone.

I'd do it. Couldn't stand sharing my personal space with a snorer. Never mind having suffered a bereavement and him being unsupportive.

I hope the pestering for sex hasn't continued since the bereavement.

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