Decision to divorce made (by me) in January, 28 year relationship, 23 years married and 2 DCs over 18. The decision took 2 years from the point where I decided I wouldn't put up with his moods and the silent treatment any longer. You could say that it ended for me then but it took me a long time to be brave enough to face a future alone and to say the words out loud to him.
I had hoped to divorce using the new 'no fault' divorce law that is making its way through parliament, except it has now stalled and I have no idea if or when it will become law.
Which leaves me with a problem. Do I divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and get it over with or do I wait and see what happens with the new law? What I can't work out is if I'm still so afraid of his reaction that I am choosing to wait to avoid dealing with his anger and resentment, or if it's sensible to wait and do this as amicably as possible for everyone's sake.
We are still living in the same house, which will have to be sold, and both DC s are with us for lockdown. We are in separate rooms and don't eat or spend any time together. It kind of works although if I wasn't working full time from home I don't know how I'd cope.
My fear is that I'm still worrying about his feelings and letting my dislike of confrontation stop me from doing what I should. On the other hand, moving things on now would make the atmosphere at home awful for the DCs. I'm also worried that if I leave it too long a judge might think that things can't have been 'intolerable' as I stayed and not grant the divorce.
Any advice or words of wisdom?
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Am I Being Sensible or Cowardly?
12 replies
Somefantasticplace · 25/05/2020 17:54
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