I’m posting this on relationships because it’s about my health but based on my abusive marriage.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue last year and ptsd as a consequence of 12 years of DV. My overall everyday stress levels I can manage and my symptoms have reduced a lot in a background level kind of way. I was able to run and play with dd etc. I only got it to this level by going no-contact with H in December.
My problem is when he contacts me Via solicitors or I have to think about the relationship for solicitors reply etc or I need to make decisions or try and sift through things for my own answers I trigger off my chronic fatigue. I’m not doing it intentionally, I don’t really feel emotional when I think about it but the memories seem to be stored in my body and it just gets triggered.
I don’t want to be like this. A letter 3 days ago from his solicitor which talked about him taking me court over dd (which I had a thread over) has triggered my body to ache so uncontrollably.
Like I said I do manage to keep myself well most of the time but can’t seem to cope with these triggers and respond without my whole body responding. I look after myself, hot baths, journals, watch films, talk etc. I’m waiting on trauma therapy.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can stop reacting like this? I’ve got a big fight ahead of me with my divorce so really need to be stronger and make important decisions.
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Relationships
Past domestic abuse constantly triggering my Chronic Fatigue.
Fightingback16 · 25/05/2020 12:09
Hang in there for the trauma therapy OP. It's a huge undertaking but hopefully it will be so healing and positive in the long term.
I wonder have you read the book The Body Keeps The Score, by Bessel Van Der Kolk? It explains what you are going through. It may offer you some comfort and understanding, and some ideas about how to move forward.
I'm so sorry for all you've been through, and continue to go through. It's such a pity you have to have anything to do with your ex at all. Is your child having contact with him? Will there come a time post-divorce when you can cut him out entirely? Do you have an IDVA to support you?
Be really patient with yourself. Nurturing and kind, always.
It takes a lot of time and work to gradually heal the damage, but it can be done.
Well done for getting away and working on healing. You've achieved so much!
It won't be this hard forever. 
I was going to say adrenal fatigue too, then saw the first post.
I get this, when something upsets or stresses me out I get almost flu like symptoms, end up knocked out for days, with achey limbs and headache etc.
I found out via a saliva test that my morning cortisol level was massively out of range - sky high - which might explain why I would wake up in a panic at the slightest noise!!
Do you sleep properly? Your adrenal function relies on knowing when it’s night and day as the level naturally fluctuate. If you’re not going to bed/sleep at a sensible time it might make this worse.
I’ve been trying to get to bed before midnight (I was staying up until 4 or 5am sometimes!! Just couldn’t get tired, shut my eyes for hours but nothing would happen, and then it’s a vicious circle).
Doctors can be a bit dismissive of adrenal fatigue so it might be worth doing a bit of research on it yourself.
Hope you get some relief from it all soon.
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