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Have you ever accidentally told someone you love them?

(30 Posts)
LoveMishap Sun 24-May-20 17:31:56

And did you mean it when you said it?

FWB said it last night. We’ve been in each other’s lives for 3 months but have actually only been together 6-7 times. We don’t actually talk that much in between meet ups. Had a really great date earlier this week after weeks of not seeing each other, so we decided to meet again last night.

It was in the post-sex glow, and cuddled up in each other’s arms - then he said ‘I love you’. I didn’t say anything, just touched his arm and about 10 seconds later he said ‘I love your touch’ instead.

No idea if it was accidental, he meant it in the moment because emotions were running high or something else. I just assumed it was a mistake and didn’t mention it again. So now I will leave it but I’m wondering what it meant.

Have you ever done that, or has someone done that to you? Did you really feel it when you said it or was it accidental?

OP’s posts: |
Kelsoooo Sun 24-May-20 17:36:19

Like I'm gonna get in here first : why did you break lockdown for sex?

Also, yeah, post sex hormones make people say stupid stuff

Bunnymumy Sun 24-May-20 17:38:54

From my exp of fwb relationships: they often try to get you to develop feelings for them by dropping hints that they have them for you (to make you let your guard down). They don't actually like you, they just want to know you have fallen for them. To stroke their ego.

Then guarantee the second you even consider asking them to be more...they make out you are the one who is clingy. It'll be "I never said that" before you can blink if you start to like him.

If it's that, this isnt a good fwb relationship. And if you have feels, walk away. Fast.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Sun 24-May-20 17:43:49

I said it the first night I met DP. I was very very drunk and he was kissing me passionately. It was a reflex I think. Obviously he thinks it was because he’s irresistible! Luckily he wasn’t frightened off by it. grin

Rebelwithallthecause Sun 24-May-20 17:45:59

Fwb asked me to marry him first time

I did indeed marry him years later

lolli7 Sun 24-May-20 17:47:42

Yes my husband 😂🙈

LoveMishap Sun 24-May-20 18:00:40

I really don’t think he’s doing anything underhanded. We met with the intention of ‘looking for casual but if anything more happens, that would be nice’.

I hadn’t thought anymore about it until now, when I realised he didn’t quickly correct himself. It was just hanging in the air but in a non-awkward way. It was fine. I’m not even sure if he realised he said it or not. Then the night carried on with food, movies, more sex etc and nothing more was about it.

I’d be interested to hear from the other side of the coin of accidentally saying it and it completely killing the dynamic.

OP’s posts: |
BitOfFun Sun 24-May-20 18:01:19

I've said it on the phone to my then-boss, in a "Bye, love you" mistake kind of way.

Still less embarrassing than with someone you've just shagged for the first time.

BitOfFun Sun 24-May-20 18:02:19

*sorry, 8th time.

ChristmasFluff Sun 24-May-20 18:08:14

I think it's easy to say things you don't mean under the influence of sex hormones. Or maybe that's just me! I mean, you mean it at the time, but in the cold light of day..... :-O

OldWomanSaysThis Sun 24-May-20 18:09:10

I have had many co-workers say that at the end of work calls. It's kind of funny. Women, men, old, young. Doesn't matter. Habit, I guess.

LockdownLoopy Sun 24-May-20 18:10:30

Yes I did this once, although we had been FWB for about 3 months. I didn’t mean to say it, it’s just slipped out after sex when we were cuddling and talking. I definitely didn’t mean it, I think it was the moment of bliss? We stopped seeing each other not long after that lol

bushhbb Sun 24-May-20 18:11:21

*From my exp of fwb relationships: they often try to get you to develop feelings for them by dropping hints that they have them for you (to make you let your guard down). They don't actually like you, they just want to know you have fallen for them. To stroke their ego.

Then guarantee the second you even consider asking them to be more...they make out you are the one who is clingy. It'll be "I never said that" before you can blink if you start to like him.

If it's that, this isnt a good fwb relationship. And if you have feels, walk away. Fast.

---
*
Thos happened to me, word for word lmao. I never could understand why he said those things to me unprovoked, but now it makes sense.

Bunnymumy Sun 24-May-20 18:39:40

Yeh, sadly many ppl that get into fwb things, do not want a relationship but do want the other person to want one with them. They basically, dont want equality. They want to be in control. They dont just want sex, they want to be put on a pedestal.

They may even prey on people who they know like them and manipulate them into this kind of 'fwb' sweetspot. Just dropping breadcrumbs to make the person think it might become something more in time. When actually, this is never their intention.

I avoid these situations now. But if you go into them I would advise you to keep in mind - if they start changing the dynamics or think it should be alone rule for them and a different one for you, time to take their name out of that little black book.

Bunnymumy Sun 24-May-20 18:40:42

*be one rule

AllsortsofAwkward Sun 24-May-20 18:43:48

Kelsoooo Everyone seems to be breaking the rules now Ive sseen two work colleagues posting a pic in a hot tub,people online around peoples houses have a drink. No one seems to care anymore 🤷‍♀️

LoveMishap Sun 24-May-20 18:47:06

In terms of the lockdown - yes, I did cave this week. I shouldn’t have done, but I did. We agreed week one we’d wait to see each other until it was over. However I’m lonely WFH for 9 weeks, and I know he’s been having a hard time - he’s furloughed and a friend of his died a month ago. I wanted to see him.

OP’s posts: |
LoveMishap Sun 24-May-20 19:11:59

As for my FWB - the more I think about it, I think he might just be very emotionally charged during/ after sex. Sex is always close and intimate with him - lots of touching, kissing, hand holding, eye contact, etc. Comparatively my last fling was very different - never one for cuddling or any closeness.

So he probably did mean it at the time but I don’t think that’s any reflection on reality.

OP’s posts: |
Sugartitss Sun 24-May-20 19:44:02

Do you want him to mean it op?

TheSecondMrsAshwell Sun 24-May-20 19:54:46

I once had lunch at a male friend's house. He knew I fancied him to death, but was not interested in me that way.

Anyway, we ate and were in the kitchen and I meant to say "right let's make mad passionate washing up." I'm sure you can see where this is going...... Of course what came out was "let's make mad passionate love." He blanched, I went beetroot red and he mumbled that he'd do it later.

Oh how we laughed afterwards..... not.

nannytothequeen Mon 25-May-20 03:09:35

My friend told our boss she loved him in a 'see you later, love you' way. He didn't notice. I did though and about died laughing.

LoveMishap Mon 25-May-20 09:32:58

Actually my friend did the whole ‘love you, bye’ to a client on the phone. I couldn’t stop laughing. 😆

Do I want him to mean it? No, I don’t so. We don’t have anything in common which is why I like him as FWB. However he is kind, honest, considerate and a fantastic lover. I suppose if it moved on to that stage organically that would be okay but I’m not feeling that right now.

OP’s posts: |
backseatcookers Mon 25-May-20 09:40:42

Maybe he just gets really turned on by flouting lockdown and being more special than people who haven't done so for a shag, so he got a bit over excited.

Isitsixoclockalready Mon 25-May-20 13:11:59

There must always be a risk (not that it is necessarily a bad thing) that feelings might develop in that kind of dynamic. It's not always easy to stick to the 'rules' of FWB as we are all governed by emotions.

Lordfrontpaw Mon 25-May-20 13:15:04

No - but a colleague though I did. We’d met for lunch as I haven’t seen her for ages, and she was getting back on the tube to go home. I waved as she went and yelled ‘lovely to meet you!’ as she walked down the steps. She stoped, looked horrified and yelled back ‘I love you too!’ and scurried away. blush

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