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FWB am I being mean?

(11 Posts)
Rainydayss Fri 22-May-20 16:19:43

I think I know what you'll say. However just want to check I'm not being unreasonable.
I have a FWB relationship, probably more than that as we are very close but I've always made it clear I don't want a relationship (not long out a sham of a marriage). Recently (probably because of the current situation/lockdown) I've realised its not more hassle than its worth and I'm happier alone. Plus also not stringing him along when he's wanting a more full on relationship.
However I feel guilty because he often refers to me as the only thing/person which keeps his mental health right. That's pressure I don't need. Plus financially he is struggling and I also feel guilty because I can afford a few treats and feel bad spending my money on them when he is struggling to pay his bills.
Is it selfish to want to focus on myself? I'm not used to it and struggling with not giving him (or anyone) everything I have

OP’s posts: |
Windmillwhirl Fri 22-May-20 16:26:23

Of course it's not selfish and

* he often refers to me as the only thing/person which keeps his mental health right*

Is manipulative even if not intentioned. You are not responsible for his mental health.

It's your life, do as you please, but obviously explain to him why you are ending things and be clear there is no hope of you changing your mind.

MarieQueenofScots Fri 22-May-20 16:28:22

Not selfish at all.

Actually he sounds rather manipulative, which would put the "friends"part of the equation under scrutiny!

Focus on you OP

PorridgeStoat Fri 22-May-20 16:29:20

Definitely not mean and far kinder to be straight with him.

MissSmiley Fri 22-May-20 16:30:56

You need to find a proper fwb with no strings

CodenameVillanelle Fri 22-May-20 16:33:23

This isn't a FWB if he's just waiting to wear you down into being his girlfriend and emotionally manipulating you. Time to end it.

Mustbethewine Fri 22-May-20 16:33:25

You're not in a relationship. You've been pretty upfront with him. He's obviously a lot more invested in the relationship than you are and it will be better for both of you if you go NC and as you said concentrate on yourself.

Rainydayss Fri 22-May-20 16:38:55

Thank you. Yes I think you're right about the emotionally manipulative, my ex husband was like that and I was far too soft. He also claimed mental health problems, yet was having an affair.
I think its made me realise that when I am ready to meet someone again then Id like someone who is independent (financially and emotionally) and happy without relying on me.

OP’s posts: |
Sugartitss Fri 22-May-20 17:03:10

Send him my way please, I’m gagging

Windmillwhirl Fri 22-May-20 17:05:17

Sugartitss grin

Rainydayss Fri 22-May-20 17:06:12

Ha, well that's also the problem, the physical aspect is too flipping good, dam it

OP’s posts: |

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