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Will anyone else admit to being addicted to stalking the exes new woman on Social media?

(39 Posts)
Pinkbanana2020 Thu 21-May-20 19:45:34

I know I'm a complete moron for doing so, but when my marriage ended (out of the blue), my ex husband went straight off with another woman.

Is it a female thing that we become so obsessed by the OW? I guess for me, it's a way of trying to piece the puzzle together as the ex just got up and left... with no explanation.

Just wondered who else would admit to doing the same thing?

allgoodinthehood Thu 21-May-20 19:48:08

Not proud of it . Seriously dont do it because you are only hurting yourself x

namechange5671 Thu 21-May-20 19:53:38

I don't admit to stalking ex's new gf because I've never been arsed about them to bother (I left them) but if I was dumped then yes I would. And I've been stalked by my current partners ex (2 exes 2 blokes). They were really psycho though and made it obvious by posting nasty things about me and us publicly. Also slagging me off to mutual friends.

LetTheSecretOut Thu 21-May-20 19:55:40

I've done it. I would advise you to block them both though, it just drags put the pain.

Menora Thu 21-May-20 19:56:50

I have literally done this for about 2 weeks when I realised how bad it was making me feel so I stopped doing it

Stop doing it! It’s not that it’s shameful it’s just really bad for you

Dazedandconfused10 Thu 21-May-20 19:58:00

I didnt need to stalk her. She was supposedly a friend!

Gutterton Thu 21-May-20 20:01:12

No but the OW somehow identified me on here and then stalked and harassed me thru the DM function - giving me a blow by blow
account of their sexual life and also how her and her friends laughed about my posts, Don’t know why she did that as she had by then “won” the abusive alcoholic man child.

Lostvoiced Thu 21-May-20 20:02:18

Mm, I only have 1 ex and we broke up when we were teenagers.

He did accuse me of stalking him when I emailed him asking for my shirt back, seeing as he "accidentally" took it when he moved out. He said he'd given it to his new girlfriend. His profile pic was the two of them together. I sent him back good fucking luck to her getting in that shirt, as it was an XS and she definitely wasn't.

Looking back that was pretty childish, she didn't do anything except have the poor judgement of dating my ex.

I was just so mad he took my favourite shirt. angry

Fivefourthree Thu 21-May-20 20:02:28

I've done it. Ended up just feeling very low, and blocked their accounts (ex and new partner) It's very freeing.

Hawkin Thu 21-May-20 20:04:09

Do you mean checking their profile? because stalking is rather serious and actually a crime

TheMotherofAllDilemmas Thu 21-May-20 20:10:34

Not sure if this would help you to get some perspective and to back off but... the only person who checks my LinkedIn account is my ExH’s partner, I also got a good number of Facebook invites from friends of her.

I know she is stalking me and I find it very very flattering so please stop doing it, if she is nice she would laugh about it but if she feels threatened she can probably not report you but tell those mutual friends you have with your ex what are you up to. I guess that would be very embarrassing.

Pinkbanana2020 Thu 21-May-20 20:22:12

Stalking as in on Facebook. They live abroad so it's even more enticing to see what they are up to!
It's silly - I should know better !

PickUpAPickUpAPenguin Thu 21-May-20 20:29:06

I did it but came to my senses and blocked. It prolongs the pain and doesn't help at all.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas Thu 21-May-20 20:32:26

Ok, now tell us what benefits are you getting out of seeing how they live abroad? Does it make you feel better? Does it reassure you? Does it make you feel more confident about yourself? Is it helping to let go of him?

If not, stop doing that to yourself, it is not healthy and is facing you (further).

AnnaNimmity Thu 21-May-20 20:41:59

My now ex'es ex stalked me everywhere. Even joining my cycling club. Insane behaviour. Setting up endless social media accounts. And setting up endless accounts on here too. I even involved the police.

She's a deranged psycho who's more obsessed with me than the ex I think. I think you should step back from the social media!

AnnaNimmity Thu 21-May-20 20:43:26

oh and then when I was an ex too , she set up a fb messenger group of all the exes to talk about him. Hmm.

RantyAnty Thu 21-May-20 20:53:10

I've snooped on occasion.

lmnoh Thu 21-May-20 20:53:36

You're not alone - I do it ... and then after a few minutes I have a little word to myself to stop being so ridiculous and get a life ;-)

Big hugs, from a distance xx

Chachang Thu 21-May-20 21:18:10

Definitely had a peek before out of curiosity, nothing beyond that though I don't imagine it does you any favours!

SunshineSmellsLikeSummer Fri 22-May-20 06:34:54

Is it a female thing that we become so obsessed by the OW?

Dont tar us all with your same tragic brush!

Tbh, its never even occured to me. Why would she be of any interest to me?

I know what she looks like because I've met her and seen photos the children have shown me. All I care about is whether she treats my children kindly and she does.

Beyond that? I know nothing about her.

SandyY2K Fri 22-May-20 08:48:20

Strangely enough many OWs are obsessed with stalking the wifes social media. More so when the affair is ongoing. They hate seeing MM and the wife looking so happy and feel extremely jealous.

SunshineSmellsLikeSummer Fri 22-May-20 08:50:36

SandyY2K I think I would understand that more.

Eesha Fri 22-May-20 09:13:02

Not really the OW but I frequent a particular chat/casual site (FAB) where for some reason I see a particular couple who are constantly posting updates about how hot and sexy each other is, how amazing their sex life is etc etc. I don't know why but it makes me feel depressed that my love life/sex life is pretty empty at the moment but still I keep looking at their updates!!! I keep wishing someone would feel that way about me!

TheStuffedPenguin Fri 22-May-20 09:20:47

Why on earth would you compare your life to some couple who are on FAB ? confused

LockdownLoopy Fri 22-May-20 09:23:32

Yes, guilty, more out of curiosity than anything though. Maybe being slightly bitter he could fuck her but didn't ever want to fuck me lol.

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