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To think my marriage is def over and some things are unforgivable to say to a child

(11 Posts)
Deepmidwicket Wed 20-May-20 15:12:47

Reposted from Aibu

Had issues for ages with husbands temper.
Throwing things, breaking things.

Anyway thought we had had a break throw before lockdown. I thought he had taken responsibility, and everything was back to normal and we truly felt happy.

Anyway DS has been a nightmare the past 4 days. Answering back, refusing to so school work, hitting us. He has coped so well during lockdown but has really hit a wall this week. I knows its anger at not seeing his friends and grandparents.

Anyway I got home from a night shift and went to bed. Half an hour ago DS comes running in crying so I am trying to calm him
down. DH walks in and says “I am ringing social services to take him away” and “I hate the little shit”
DS obviously here’s all this and goes into meltdown.
I tell DH to get out now. DH rips off his T-shirt (literally). I calm DS down and then go downstairs.
I tell DH I can’t believe he would say that to his own son and yes I know he had been challenging but for goodness sake we are all going through hell but DS is six for goodness sake.
DH then yells that no one listens or respects him and I tell him to leave and don’t come back.

When he had gone I notice one of DSs beloved football annuals all ripped up. DS says daddy did it.

I know my marriage is over I just don’t know what to do next. I work nights, luckily not till next Monday now but I can’t carry on with that. I have seizures and fibromyalgia as well. Not sure I can do this. I know I have too but not sure how.

OP’s posts: |
Azadewow Wed 20-May-20 15:17:45

I am so sorry OP, that's definitely not something you should forgive, especially since there is already a long history of awful behaviour on his side. X

Pinkybutterfly Wed 20-May-20 16:56:29

Oh darling.... I'm so sorry you are going through this. What an arse! Would it be employing an aupair viable? I'm not sure if I would feel comfortable with my son going back to the dad but again he has the right to see him...

Elieza Wed 20-May-20 17:04:26

The dad sounds awful. What a Prince. It’s an awful situation to be in but your husband has major issues and you need to be apart as I don’t know what he’s capable of if your son steps out of line. Is there anywhere you can go? Is your mum young and healthy so you could move in with her? You both need to be safe.

TigerDater Wed 20-May-20 17:11:30

Your DH sounds unhinged, I’m so sorry. Is there anyone you can reach out to in real life for support and to help you make the right decisions now?

cheeseismydownfall Wed 20-May-20 17:19:56

I'm so sorry. You are right, I think it will be difficult to recover from such a terrible outburst. When I was seven or eight I my mother screamed that she was going to put us into care during an argument with my father. I have never, ever forgotten (or, if I'm honest, forgiven). It is an unforgivable thing to say to a child.

passerbye Wed 20-May-20 22:36:55

Oh wow. That behaviour is unforgivable. He lost it on a child. He can’t now be trusted to be near him

hiphipwinetime Thu 21-May-20 00:02:02

How are you OP? I hope you and your son are ok 💐

borntohula Thu 21-May-20 00:07:16

Jesus christ, your poor little boy (and you, of course).

Is DS ok now?

JaineyMac Thu 21-May-20 01:34:14

That’s hideous. Really awful. What a horrible and cruel thing to say.

Hagisonthehill Thu 21-May-20 10:19:59

Do you have help at all?Working nights is your major problem especially during lockdown.Childminders /school is available for key workers for the day but nights would need a friend/parents.
I hope you and your son can find a way through thisflowers

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