Talk

Advanced search

Facebook Messenger help

(67 Posts)
Isthisnothing Tue 19-May-20 21:00:11

Hi,

Some help please.

When Facebook messenger says 'you are now connected on messenger' what needs to have taken place beforehand for it to happen?

There are no further messages. Could they be deleted?

Also, she is blocked, is not and am fairly certain never was one of his Facebook friends.

I was a bit suspicious around recent phone activity and when I saw his Facebook was left logged in on the laptop I could not resist. We had problems early on in our relationship which I discovered on his phone. I haven't snooped in years.

OP’s posts: |
Whatshername20 Tue 19-May-20 21:07:43

I think it just means a friend request has been accepted? You could check by going onto his profile, friends list and searching their name. You can message someone without being their friend though, sometimes it goes into a folder called 'message requests'.

Sorry to hear you're going through this, I don't think it would have the 'now connected' message if messages had been exchanged, deleted or not.

TheWickerWoman Tue 19-May-20 21:08:59

That’s the message that comes through on Messenger when one has accepted the others friend request.

Justyouraveragehuman Tue 19-May-20 21:11:24

It comes up when one person has accepted the other person friend request. It can be either person sending the friend request though I believe. It doesn’t always come up through from my experience

Isthisnothing Tue 19-May-20 21:15:10

They are not friends, he has blocked her. I find it weird. He does not use Facebook much, does not have lots of friends on it and only has one other person blocked - this person was harassing us last year.

OP’s posts: |
moveandmove Tue 19-May-20 21:17:11

Yep it means they are friends on Facebook.

Isthisnothing Tue 19-May-20 21:17:38

Is there any other way to connect through messenger? Without giving too much info away when we had problems at the beginning he offered to let me look through his phone. I noticed that before we were together he used messenger a lot to talk to women. I didn't read them as it was before we were together but lots of names not on his friend list.

OP’s posts: |
moveandmove Tue 19-May-20 21:17:39

Maybe he has unblocked her?

chatterbugmegastar Tue 19-May-20 21:19:32

You can connect on Messenger without having a Facebook account.

One person simply sends the other a Messenger message and if that message is accepted then you're connected.

Facebook isn't needed

moveandmove Tue 19-May-20 21:20:33

It could be from an interaction like messaging each other previously but you can't message someone you've blocked.

Cabinfever10 Tue 19-May-20 21:20:55

It doesn't mean that they are Facebook friends it means that they are messenger friends, they are two different things. And yes he could of deleted the messages

namechange469 Tue 19-May-20 21:22:24

That is the first message that appears when you become friends on Facebook. It's likely they havent exchanged messaged prior to that message and he will not have deleted and messages as that message would also be deleted. She cannot be blocked, they are friends on Facebook pretty sure of it...

If he had deleted her messages, then the 'you are now connected on messenger' would also be gone. I'm pretty certain if you block someone on Facebook you are also blocked on messenger - they must have recently added each other

bluestarsatnightfall Tue 19-May-20 21:26:35

If she was blocked she wouldn't appear on messenger at all. I blocked someone the other day I wasn't friends with and their contact info disappeared from messenger.

Isthisnothing Tue 19-May-20 21:29:22

No she's defo blocked now. She is very attractive looking. I wonder was he looking at her photo and accidentally friend requested her then blocked her after she accepted.

OP’s posts: |
justlikejasper Tue 19-May-20 21:35:55

He's unblocked her, a message has been sent (could be either one of them sent it) message has been deleted and then he's blocked her again.

MyHeartBeatsInEights Tue 19-May-20 21:36:22

If someone sends another a message who is not their facebook friend that is what also shows because they are now connected. He could delete certain messages without that disappearing, it would only disappear if he deleted the full thread, although obviously I'm not saying that's what has happened.

Did it not show a date? Someone has definitely accepted the others request at some point but would be helpful if you knew when of course. He would not be able to accept anything or send anything if she is blocked. Do you know when he blocked her?

Awesome2020 Tue 19-May-20 21:39:29

I get something similar when someone tries to contact me through messenger when we're not friends. In my line of work this can happen with people I can't be friends with so this message just sits on my list at the very top.

moveandmove Tue 19-May-20 21:41:21

It's pretty hard to accidentally friend request someone, plus if you did there is a 'cancel request' button. Is this high up on his chat list as that would indicate they've recently connected?

Isthisnothing Tue 19-May-20 21:51:53

Its from three weeks ago. I was in hospital around then. It is strange isn't it, I'm not imagining it. I checked his activity log, no record of them becoming friends on Facebook but I don't know if the log on the laptop only shows activity from that device or for his account in general.

OP’s posts: |
backseatcookers Tue 19-May-20 22:00:43

He's unblocked her, a message has been sent (could be either one of them sent it) message has been deleted and then he's blocked her again.
This I think, sorry OP.

Isthisnothing Tue 19-May-20 22:04:51

Is there anyway to see deleted messages?

OP’s posts: |
MaggieTheFrog Tue 19-May-20 22:20:39

I couldn't see a "view" deleted message function on the phone app. It might be different on a desktop etc.
It does sound like she has been been unblocked and friend request accepted

Isthisnothing Tue 19-May-20 22:24:04

She is currently on his blocked list. I find that in itself strange. Why block her?

So the general consensus seems to be there was definitely some interaction. I assume whatever it was caused him to panic and he blocked her.

OP’s posts: |
Whatshername20 Tue 19-May-20 22:24:43

There used to be (desktop only) a folder called 'archived messages' where you could see deleted things. Don't know if it's still a thing

Isthisnothing Tue 19-May-20 22:26:21

I could see an option for hidden messages, group messages, unread messages but not archived or deleted messages

OP’s posts: |

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in