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My boyfriend demanded a weeks break away from me

(167 Posts)
Trina100 Tue 19-May-20 15:32:54

My BF has recently demanded a break away from me for a week with no contact and I don’t know how to handle it.
We have had a few arguments in the past two weeks which have got heated to the point where he has yelled down the phone in a fit of rage, admitted to throwing things and in one arguments he whacked me with her jackets beacuse I called him a child. I know I shouldn’t have called him that and I apologised. Most of the arguments start because I think he is being selfish or shows lack of care towards my feelings or I feel disrespected.

The past 7 days have been lovely and we’ve got on without arguments until Sunday where I asked him he would come round for 10 mins as I was feeling a bit down and needy and really needed a cuddle. We’d already spent two and half days together the day before so he’s response was “I’m ok on my own today, I’ve already spent 2.5 days with you so I’m ok on my own”! I flipped as I hate when he keeps tabs on how many consecutive days we spend together as it doesn’t leave much hope to eventually living together (we’ve been together for two year already) and I felt disappointed that he refused to be there for me when I needed him the most. He didn’t even asked what was the issue.
Anyway this turned into a shouting fest and know he has brought up other arguments from the past two weeks and have demanded a weeks break/space away from me!

He has always said that he doesn’t do breaks so I can’t help but feel so hurt over this, we speak literally every single day and see each other every two days or so.
He admitted that he needs to really consider if this relationship is what as our arguments bring out a horrible side of him.
I feel like I don’t want to sit around for a week for him to then turn round and end the relationship. I honestly don’t know how to play this or what to do and I really want to call him and resolve things! What do I do! He’s never asked for space before!

DowntonCrabby Tue 19-May-20 15:34:01

He sounds like an abusive dick with anger issues. Why the hell would you want him back???

Sparklfairy Tue 19-May-20 15:36:00

Eeek. You sound pretty needy and I know what it's like to be the smothered one in a relationship. I mean this kindly but you really need to back off.

Justmuddlingalong Tue 19-May-20 15:36:51

Maybe once you're both back at school, things will settle down.

Sugartitss Tue 19-May-20 15:38:02

I don’t agree he’s an abusive dick or has anger issues.

You sound quite needy op.

Menora Tue 19-May-20 15:38:09

I don’t know where to start with this! How old are you both?

Asking someone to go round for a cuddle seems romantic but I can’t say it would be something I might get excited over if I had things to do. But the shouting, throwing things and all the tantrums (sounds both of you) just sounds so unhealthy pointless it’s not achieving anything and hitting you with something is unacceptable. You sound toxic together and perhaps a week break is not a bad idea to be honest. You can both work on your anger issues
What do you think is going to happen over the space of 1 week anyway? Is this a game or a genuine request for space? You can’t make him be with you if he doesn’t want to

DelphiniumBlue Tue 19-May-20 15:38:33

Don't call him, you will just look like a stalker. He's told you needs a break, he can't be clearer. It's a polite way of saying it's over. And please don't be hanging around waiting for him to decide whether he wants to string you along for a bit longer before eventually dumping you.
Time for you to move on. He sounds pretty horrible anyway.

pog100 Tue 19-May-20 15:39:07

Well from the outside it's absolutely completely clear. For whatever reason this relationship isn't working and is doomed. Just end it yourself, now, and save everyone a lot of trouble.

Sparklfairy Tue 19-May-20 15:39:12

Posted too soon! The anger issues from him are concerning and some space might make you see that clearly. You shouldn't put up with him losing his temper to the point of violence. Let him have his space and think seriously about this relationship as the anger issues will ime get worse.

HollowTalk Tue 19-May-20 15:39:19

Are you living separately?

LilyMarshall Tue 19-May-20 15:39:42

Are you very young Op? You sound very young.

But anyway, no matter how old you are, you need to end this relationship. There are men out there who are not wankers. He doesnt love you and has no respect for you. And you sound very needy, which is clouding your judgement on what is appropriate behaviour.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 19-May-20 15:39:46

Just end it and move on with your life. Your relationship sounds horrible.

chatterbugmegastar Tue 19-May-20 15:39:54

I was wondering that @hollow

FlowerArranger Tue 19-May-20 15:41:56

What exactly does he add to your life? He clearly isn't equipped to meet your needs, so why not cut him loose? I'm sure that reading Women Who Love Too Much (by Robin Norwood) would help you make better decisions.

TheMandalorian Tue 19-May-20 15:42:43

You don't sound right for each other. I think a permanent break would be for the best.
You are way too needy, get over yourself.
You sound very, very immature so I'm sure you have the time to take a break from dating and work on your self esteem and independence.
Also have you been mixing households when you are meant to be on lockdown?
I don't think you have a future together. Please tell me you are not already pregnant/ have a child together.

PickAChew Tue 19-May-20 15:42:55

Sounds ike a pretty crap relationship. A week isn't long enough. It needs to be forever.

LittleWing80 Tue 19-May-20 15:43:32

No lockdown where you are 🤔?

wildcherries Tue 19-May-20 15:43:37

He's doesn't sound abusive to me. He sounds like a guy who needs some space to breathe. It all does sound quite intense. I wouldn't be impressed if someone called me a child and flipped out at me for saying I wouldn't come around for ten minutes to hug them.

WitsEnding Tue 19-May-20 15:43:54

It's going to be difficult to move on in a week under lockdown rules, so I'd wait it out and see how you each feel at the end of 7 days.

ButteryPuffin Tue 19-May-20 15:44:45

It's not good to be so reliant on one person to pick you up. Lots of people are not able to have contact with loved ones at all during lockdown. You need to find another way of coping.

whoopso Tue 19-May-20 15:45:38

Seriously? He hit you?

You must be very young. Just block and delete

Trina100 Tue 19-May-20 15:46:28

I’m 29 and I’m sure we all have needy moments. Let me assure you I need my own space every now and then and smothering/neediness has never been an issue before. I know when when we both need a few days after seeing each other for a bit Unfortunately this was an odd occasion where I really wasn’t feeling good at all and needed cheering up! He lives literally 10 minutes away from me and I just know if he ever felt like that I wasn’t busy I’d be right on hand if he needed cheering up or consoling, so it just hurt that he wasn’t up for doing the same. Excuse me if that makes me sound immature.

Yelllow Tue 19-May-20 15:48:02

If he wants a break then give him a break? I think it would be good for you both and you could come out stronger after.

Chamomileteaplease Tue 19-May-20 15:48:57

On the one hand he sounds like he feels really smothered and just literally wants a break from you. Which is fair enough surely?

But on the other hand where you say * Most of the arguments start because I think he is being selfish or shows lack of care towards my feelings or I feel disrespected.* this doesn't sound like a nice boyfriend anyway.

Use the week to have a good think about things.

Menora Tue 19-May-20 15:49:16

Your post does make you sound really immature - both of you do. At 29 I had 2 kids - can you imagine if your parents were behaving like this?

My 16 year old daughter and her boyfriend also don’t behave like this.

If you can’t see that it’s all toxic and immature then crack on.

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