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Help please...

(7 Posts)
Pinkybutterfly Mon 18-May-20 15:06:01

Hi, thank you for reading...
So here it goes I'm leaving with the father of my children. I love him, he is sweet, supportive at time and helps with kids/house...but there are several issues ie him cheating in the past, and a stepchild that lives with us most of the time that he doesn't parent appropriately, and in laws not involved with our children or respectful.
I am currently not able to live until September... I have thought about moving out continue to see him but to put distance between us and see how it goes... That's me being naive... Thinking we could work things up... I believe in family.. anyway, 2 years ago I met someone working and we got on really well, just friends and caring for each other as good friends do... This week we confessed each other what we felt.. and learned he is getting divorced and I told h how things where at home... I guess none of us wanted to be the cause for each other relationship break.
Moving forward we went for a 2m apart walk and decided to be together once I'm out of the house... If I am ever brave enough to do so... He is getting divorced and has children.
He is the type of man I have always dreamed to be with... But I'm scared and feel sometimes I should just accept living with someone it's ok but I can't trust for the sake of the kids...
Thank you for your help

OP’s posts: |
MitziK Mon 18-May-20 15:08:20

Don't overcomplicate matters with an affair.

Get free, then see about whether you want to start seeing this man if he ever actually gets around to leaving his wife and doesn't just want somewhere cosy to cocklodge

Pinkybutterfly Mon 18-May-20 15:16:31

I think you are right... He has bought a house and was gonna move out but with this covid everything is on hold...

OP’s posts: |
AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 18-May-20 15:21:49

This other man you've met merely senses your emotional vulnerability here and therefore an opportunity.

You need to be on your own now, neither this other bloke or your current partner are any good for you going forward.

Sparklingplasters Mon 18-May-20 15:51:27

You are excited about the possibility of falling into his arms and getting the happy ending that you desire but haven’t got. It might work out with him but don’t rush anything. Sort out your situation at home first, it sounds to me that your relationship is over.

Pinkybutterfly Mon 18-May-20 16:03:33

@AttilaTheMeerkat I think you are right...
@Sparklingplasters I think you read me too easily... Oh gosh I sound desperate! I think you all are very wise and I am very naive... I am just scared to death to see how I am going to survive until September... He get really grumpy when he has no sex and although I still have feelings for him, those feelings are for the person I thought he was. You are right I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok and not to worry about a thing. Kids are small and I don't know how I will tell them about all of this... I feel I am making a mistake whatever option I take...

OP’s posts: |
Pinkybutterfly Tue 19-May-20 21:12:57

@MitziK you nailed.... He doesn't communicate as much when his wife isn't working... I really feel stupid because I crave our conversations... We laugh a lot we plan we discuss different topics that won't be able with my partner. He says we would like another child, he says I can move with him to the new house when I'm ready... Say obviously no as need time and kids to know him in the future etc... But I don't know. I try to ignore him. But as soon as he talks to me that's it... I'm melting and have butterflies, also he is very sweet and cares about me and the kids... sad

OP’s posts: |

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