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How to move on

(19 Posts)
Doingitaloneandproud Mon 18-May-20 01:02:29

Please can someone tell me ways to move on, I'm struggling to forget my ex boyfriend ( broke up last week ) I can't stop crying and feeling so down. Missing his voice and his texts so much. We were only together 6 months but I fell so hard for him. I don't know how to forget him right now, I haven't deleted our pictures but maybe I should? I just feel so unbelievably down right now and I'm trying not to, please any advice.

Right now it feels like I will never get it right, I always believed there isn't someone for everyone and maybe that's how it is for me. Maybe I'm just too much of a mess for someone to stay with sad

OP’s posts: |
Jane1978xx Mon 18-May-20 01:05:11

Did he give you a reason for breaking up ? I’m assuming you’ve not seen each other for a few months so that may have contributed.

Doingitaloneandproud Mon 18-May-20 01:12:36

He was ignoring me following an argument, his normal behaviour and so I told him I couldn't do it anymore if he would be like that. We have had a few fights in lockdown, and I have seen him once, I moved to his for the a few day's last weekend, we had an amazing time together and then he turned on me Wednesday.

I just feel broken, I begged him to give me another chance and he won't, he's starting a new work phase today and said he needs to be alone for it. He's sent me cold texts, wouldn't talk on the phone or anything, I feel so humiliated I begged but I feel so lonely

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Summerdays250 Mon 18-May-20 03:11:27

Best way I’ve learnt is to play it cool.
Men don’t like girls “begging” it makes you look pathetic and “unattractive” to them. They like a chase, something they can’t get.
So all this being upset will make him feel great.
Be cold with him and give it a few weeks or months, you’ll be talking to someone new - moved on and he’ll be crawling with his tail between his legs.

Been there. done that.

Summerdays250 Mon 18-May-20 03:13:26

I’m sure most women out there will agree, that in most cases the ex has always tried to contact them, whether it’s a few weeks, months or even years.
Be strong

Doingitaloneandproud Mon 18-May-20 07:10:56

Yeah I think you're right, he might be loving this. He told me he doesn't want to move on but he wants to be alone. Just feels like him saying that gives me that little bit of hope but probably isn't even on his radar!

I need to do as you say, And play it cool, He just sent a text blaming my anxiety for everything and I guess I'm a way I feel stupid for even telling him things that happened in my past. I don't usually tell people but I honestly thought he was so different.

Thank you for replying, I'll remove all my pictures of him to help me play it cool and hopefully soon I won't feel in so much pain

OP’s posts: |
Jane1978xx Mon 18-May-20 08:19:09

Have a think if he’s the right man for you. If your having fights and arguments in a short relationship when you aren’t even seeing each other it sounds very volatile

Onthemaintrunkline Mon 18-May-20 08:22:10

If he gets in touch, it might be a good idea if you are washing your hair😂😂

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 18-May-20 08:25:35

Er, he sounds like an arsehole OP! He turned on you - is making you feel shit about having anxiety hmm - you confided in him and he’s been an insensitive prick?

You need to decide that he’s not good enough for you. He sounds like a nasty piece of work.

bangheadhere40 Mon 18-May-20 10:10:14

Don't feel bad for opening up, that's what we should be able to do in a relationship. Unfortunately this man has used it against you instead of supported you.

Doingitaloneandproud Mon 18-May-20 10:25:44

Yeah you are right, I've spoken with my sister today, his message was all very 'I' about himself, no admission of how he's caused the arguments. I do think I need to just ignore him, if he comes back ever just not answer. It's what he does to me in arguments so he'll be surprised if I don't reply!

I've got counselling tomorrow as I know my anxiety has flared up in lockdown, but I just didn't think he'd become the type to blame it for everything. I went over and above for him and I think maybe I should start doing that for myself rather than another person confused

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AtrociousCircumstance Mon 18-May-20 13:54:29

Yes do it for yourself! Don’t waste time, love and energy on an arse like that, you may as well pour all your loveliness into a gross drain.

Resist when he inevitably comes sniffing back around you. Self respect time.

Bunnymumy Mon 18-May-20 14:00:02

Cant believe theres ppl on here telling you to change you in order to entice back this utter fuckwit.

He gives you the silent treatment and then texts dumps you? He sounds like a grade a arsehole. Probably a narcissist or similar. Would explain him also using your vulnerabilities against you! Disgusting man.

OP, please block him on everything. He is a bastard and you can do better.

Might be wise to read up on narcissists. Perhaps 'how narcissists punish you' videos on youtube. Also melanie tonia Evans does good youtube videos on them.

Keep yourself safe. Block his number xx

opticaldelusion Mon 18-May-20 18:07:19

Difficult at the moment but try to focus on your life, your friends/family and your interests.

And cut yourself some slack! It's only been a week. Of course you miss him and feel hurt and upset.

HollowTalk Mon 18-May-20 18:09:17

You sound lovely and he sounds horrible. Block him now and when he comes crawling (inevitable) then ignore him. You can do so much better than him.

WhatCFeryIsThis Mon 18-May-20 18:26:20

Absolutely 100% without a doubt block him. On everything. It will stop you from looking at pics on SM. Deep down you must know that if he sends you a message now there's no way you would ignore it. Block him straight away. It will be so difficult, believe me I've been there and I've done this, but trust me and everyone else giving you this advice that it will be the best thing you've ever done for yourself and your self-esteem. Block him, cry, find something you enjoy doing and then move on. If he really has to contact you he'll create a new account and then who will look desperate?

Doingitaloneandproud Mon 18-May-20 18:56:14

Thank you all, you're right, it was time to block him, I guess my not doing it was just holding out hope but I can't do that and I don't want to be with someone who uses my past against me. I'm trying so hard to change my anxiety, my therapy is tomorrow so hopefully they can help

I've decided to start and downloaded an app for meditation, I figured it may help at least clear my mind, and I've decided to learn a new language, I always wanted to and I have the time now so may as well give it a go

I don't know if he would ever try to get it touch with me, he'd have to do it from a landline if he wanted to so I'll probably never hear from him again, but it's for the best. I know I won't feel like this forever, I'm just disappointed in letting myself believe someone's actions were true and what they said was real. I'm def putting my guard back up!

I will read up about them, and see what it sAys, I'll probably recognise a few traits! Thank you for giving me the push I needed to block him

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WhatCFeryIsThis Mon 18-May-20 19:00:37

Well done smile I'm so happy you've decided to do what's best for you. You'll get a whole new surge of pride coming your way soon, just focus on what makes you happy x

Bunnymumy Mon 18-May-20 19:01:20

Good to hear op.

Yeah, good people dont throw your past in your face or use your weaknesses as weapons to hurt you. Rotten folk do.

You'll be much better without people like that around. Good luck with the meditation! smile

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