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Why am i so messed up about my dad?

(4 Posts)
malificent7 Sun 17-May-20 16:16:39

My mum and dad didn't get on well when we were kids....he was very tight woth cash and i remember many times when he laid into mum for spending cash...she almost lived in fear of him. She got very depressed but never left him although vonsidered it. I remember many times when they sat in silence in the evening. I constantly felt that he was going to leave anyway.
Once she was bullied out of a job and he started laying into her.

Fast fowards and mum died of cancer 10 years ago. 5 months later my dad got with my best friends mum...i was taken aback but kind of happy. My best friend though used to go out with my exes...very bad boundaries all round tbh.
It upsets my sister and i that dad loves to spend money with his now partner and is so much nicer to her.
To cap it off he has sort of formed a household with my friend and her mum and my sister and i feel pushed out.
To cap it off i had a lecture from my friend about how much my dad does to help me and how i should be grateful. This is when i complained that he had given me a hard time due to me loosing a job too. She is definately on his side.
I want to move on from my friend as i no longer feel i can trust her but we are linked through my dad....i no longer see her much but i feel very hurt by all this. What a mess.
Also my friends child used to have vile tantrums and as a result dd used to refuse to play with they are sort of step cousins now, dad's partner used to try and force them to play and scape goat my dd when she refused...blaming the vile tantrums on her. Dad should have stuck up for dd.
My sister is still grieving mum and so has her own issues.
Back to ( yet more councelling ) for me i guess.

OP’s posts: |
pog100 Sun 17-May-20 16:20:25

Yes counselling but also I would withdraw from your friend as much as possible and also from your dad. He seems more critical than nice, what are you gaining from a relationship with him?

malificent7 Sun 17-May-20 16:23:40

Dd loves him....he can be nice....with the odd dig thrown in...i got 99% in an exam once but apparently thats because the exam was too easy.
Moreover he always waxes lyrical about my friend's wonderful career and helps her by driving her everywhere ( she dosn't drive). Its just incredibly hurtful tbh.

OP’s posts: |
malificent7 Sun 17-May-20 16:24:17

I feel like ive lost him to a friend who dosn't seem like she's on my side.

OP’s posts: |

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