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Breakup whilst pregnant

(10 Posts)
mangobaby1 Sun 17-May-20 15:31:58

Hi

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and my baby's father and I broke up. Even though I know that it's for the best and he made my pregnancy horrible with his lying, cheating and problems that he would project onto me, I'm really sad and lonely because I do love him. I'm looking for non judgemental and kind people to talk to for support.

Thanks

OP’s posts: |
GilbertMarkham Sun 17-May-20 15:36:15

Are you the same poster whose bf repeatedly cheated on you (and you were trying to convert to Islam?).

It sounded like the only thing you could do to avoid more if the same was to end the relationship. You've done the right thing.

Many many women have had babies without being with the "father" and done fine. Will you have much family support?

lulumoon97 Sun 17-May-20 15:36:36

flowers hugs to you. I'm going through a breakup after a miscarriage so can't imagine how you're feeling lovely. I promise everything will be okay, I'm glad you've made what you think is the right decision because that's such a horrible thing to find out, even if you weren't pregnant.

Do you have friends and family to support you? xx

mangobaby1 Sun 17-May-20 16:09:57

@GilbertMarkham Yeah, that's me. Regarding somethings that you said I didn't label his baby mother as crazy just because she doesn't like me. I fully understand that he cheated on her and hurt her too. I call her crazy because I've seen some really terrible things that she's done to her children just to get back at him which could never be justified to me. Despite your relationship issues, children are always supposed to be loved and taken care of. I also don't want to revert to Islam because of him, I had my faith before him and I will after. That's why it's really disappointing to me that he doesn't care because I thought he valued the same things that I did and he always told me so, obviously that was just him telling me what I wanted to hear from him. I have my father but I don't really want to go to him crying about my relationship and how bad I feel. Thankfully, he's there to support me in other ways though.

OP’s posts: |
willowmelangell Sun 17-May-20 16:12:01

I am sorry to hear of your troubles mangobaby1. It is a good thing you are doing. Much better to care for your mental well being now rather than try to manage a toxic relationship as well. You are very brave and strong to make that decision.
Are you in a safe place? Roof over your head, bills being paid? Sorry to be practical when you are feeling so low.
I had an unexpected love child from a dodgy but exciting ex.(contraceptive fail) The happiest days of my life until I let ex back in. Biggest regret of my life. Should have left ex in the gutter.
Don't be me.
Stay strong. Stick to your standards. Any communications from exbf reply with, "That does not work for me"

mangobaby1 Sun 17-May-20 16:13:56

Prayers and hugs for you too lovely x It must be really difficult for you. I only have my father, I have a couple friends but I don't think they would really understand my situation as when I told them I was pregnant they didn't respond in the best way so I'd rather avoid speaking to them.

OP’s posts: |
mangobaby1 Sun 17-May-20 16:22:08

@willowmelangell
Thanks for your response,
Everything is being taken care of thankfully, he is making things difficult for me since he keeps on talking about us being a family and all of this other stuff even though I know he's not serious and would hurt me again. It would be easier if he could be just an asshole so I didn't have to second guess myself.

OP’s posts: |
mangobaby1 Sun 17-May-20 16:24:42

@lulumoon97

OP’s posts: |
RLEOM Mon 18-May-20 00:58:27

You love the person you thought he was, not the person he is. More harm than good comes from this man.

I know you're going to want to be a family but at what expense? Your happiness? Your self esteem? Once that baby comes, you're going to be so full of love, true love, and that baby will be your main focus. You need to protect your baby, and part of protecting your baby is protecting you, not just physically but mentally too.

RLEOM Mon 18-May-20 00:59:57

Feel free to send me a message if you ever want to talk. The world can feel like a lonely place in these kind of situations.

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