Wondering if anyone can offer advice if they have been in this situation, as I don't want to feel this way any more.
When I was pregnant, MIL grated on me, overstepped with a lot of what she said, kept pushing 'helpful' suggestions even after I said thanks but no thanks and the like.
Since DS has been born, she has ignored things we have asked her not to do (when we are present) and we have to remind her we don't like it.
He is now 13 months old and she has hinted many times at wanting to baby sit. My issue is that she doesn't spend a lot of time with him. Pre-lockdown she would see him every few weeks for about half an hour, as she would come to see him as he was going to bed.
My parents have looked after him a few times for us, including for a full day, but he sees them 3 times a week. His face lights up when he sees them, MIL gets a blank stare.
I don't want to leave him with somebody he 1. Doesn't spend much time with, and 2. Who I worry about ignoring things we say, as already demonstrated. Her DD left her children with her from being a couple of weeks old so I worry they will think I am being a 'over protective' - that is the word I have heard thrown around by MIL about mums not letting their children be baby sat willy nilly.
Pre lockdown I pushed for more of a relationship between them (DS spent more time settling in at nursery than with MIL before she wanted to baby sit alone) and it was going well, but now he hasn't seen her for weeks. I felt like they were just getting somewhere.
I feel anxious about this eventuality. I don't know if I am hanging on to feelings from my pregnancy (when I was told things like I'll spoil my child for not letting him CIO), I know I'll have to let her have the time with him eventually, but how do I make myself comfortable with that?
Obviously this is all when life returns to normal, whenever that may be. I've just been thinking about it recently.
I do get on with MIL generally so don't want to hold on to these feelings, and I know it is important for DC to have a bond with their GP (which I was pushing).
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Relationships
MIL
Swirlyceiling · 16/05/2020 08:24
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