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Sex with a friend

(23 Posts)
PeachPie30 Fri 15-May-20 23:57:29

I have fancied my male friend for years and he felt the same way but we were both in relationships. Now we’re both single and it looks like it might happen.

Any tips? I’m excited but really nervous. I have been imagining it for years. What if he doesn’t fancy me when it comes down to it? What if he feels it’s a bit of a let down? What if he feels like I’m his sister or something?

OP’s posts: |
WonderWomanBra Sat 16-May-20 00:24:42

Relax!Let it happen if it happens.You will not know how you feel until you've done what you have been imagining for all those years.Put something nice on and go for it!!!Lifes too short to be worrying about the 'what ifs'!Besides your both single so no one's getting hurt.

PeachPie30 Sat 16-May-20 00:32:11

Well I might get hurt! I’m scared. But I also really really fancy him. I have never in my life been this sexually attracted to someone.

OP’s posts: |
NoMoreDickheads Sat 16-May-20 00:33:06

I have fancied my male friend for years and he felt the same way but we were both in relationships. Now we’re both single and it looks like it might happen. Any tips? I’m excited but really nervous. I have been imagining it for years. What if he doesn’t fancy me when it comes down to it? What if he feels it’s a bit of a let down? What if he feels like I’m his sister or something?

Do you actually like him- as in potential boyfriend material? I think you do. In which case, don't jump into bed together, go on some dates (when permitted.)

There's no hurry.

PeachPie30 Sat 16-May-20 00:41:54

Yes I really like him. I want to be with him long term ideally. Definitely want to date first. Will that help? A few dates with some snogging to build up the anticipation?

OP’s posts: |
chocolatespiders Sat 16-May-20 00:50:30

Meet in the park for some walking dates

PeachPie30 Sat 16-May-20 00:52:36

Nice idea. He has dogs.

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StarlightLady Sat 16-May-20 06:08:23

There is nothing wrong with having sex with a good friend.

But you must make sure you are both on the same wavelength in terms of where you want to go.

Forget the dating aspect, you know each other. After lockdown the best way to start is on the bed. In bed is over rated!!

Is this the same man from your other thread? Cos if so, this will be sex with a friend and nothing more.

As long as you’re fine with that, go for it.

LivingThatLockdownLife Sat 16-May-20 06:15:28

Prepare to lose a friend!

Dontknowhowtohelp1 Sat 16-May-20 06:37:58

After lockdown the best way to start is on the bed. In bed is over rated!!

What does this mean? I have my own version of what it might mean but I am not sure?

beelzeboob Sat 16-May-20 06:50:47

Once you have sex you can never really go back to being just friends. So if it works out then great, but if it doesn’t your friendship probably won’t survive

AllianceOfCorcles Sat 16-May-20 06:58:18

Is this the same man from your other thread? Cos if so, this will be sex with a friend and nothing more

Probably need to know the back story now then op

I don’t agree with this beelzeboob, but obviously these things will vary massively from person to person.

Either way, OP isn’t after a FWB, she wants a relationship.

StarlightLady Sat 16-May-20 07:06:03

@Dontknowhowtohelp1 - Bedding gets in the way. It was also meant to be lighthearted.

@beelzeboob - l’ve had sex with a number of friends over the years. We are still friends to this day.

Dontknowhowtohelp1 Sat 16-May-20 07:07:55

Oh okay @StarlightLady grin. I was projecting my own (never ending 🙄) issues on to what you said.

overnightangel Sat 16-May-20 09:02:57

Is it the same guy from your other thread @PeachPie30?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3910466-Guy-wants-to-be-chased

PeachPie30 Sat 16-May-20 09:05:08

Yes same guy. I’m not interested in a FWB thing. I want a relationship with him.

OP’s posts: |
Unrealist Sat 16-May-20 16:31:09

Definitely go on dates first, you can’t recreate the tension of the build up to the first time.

Menora Sat 16-May-20 16:42:18

Please don’t get all excited about this man you aren’t even clear whether he feels the same way
Try to protect yourself even a little bit

CardsforKittens Sat 16-May-20 17:10:59

Sex with a friend: great. Or awkward but easily forgotten.

Sex with a friend you want to have a relationship with but who doesn’t want the same thing: emotional disaster. For months. And you’ll probably lose the friendship.

But almost nothing can persuade you not to do it. Hope he lives up to your sexual expectations!

bunbunbun Sat 16-May-20 20:56:09

You've used the title "sex with a friend" but in reality you want "a relationship with a friend" which is very different.

Sex with a friend can be fine. It can also spoil the friendship. A relationship with a friend can be fine. It can also spoil the friendship.

If you want a relationship with him then you need to establish if he actually is open to that or if he is after what your thread title describes "sex with with friend".

If he's a decent guy you'll be able to establish whether he is open to the potential for more than sex before you actually shag him.

If you can't have that conversation then he isn't as good a friend as you seem to think he is.

And based on your other thread he sounds like the type to speak in riddles to avoid an honest open conversation.

Unfortunately you sound like you'll indulge him and think that the more evasive he is the more complex he is.

Do you tend to over analyse things this much? It must be exhausting - you're both adults and you claim to care about each other. Just talk to him.

If you can't talk to him openly then don't be surprised if after you shag him, he clams up / avoids you. He will have given you fair warning that's his style!

PeachPie30 Sat 16-May-20 22:07:52

You’re right. I need to talk to him. I definitely don’t just want a shag. I want a relationship with him.

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