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Staying away after argument

(9 Posts)
strugglingwithdeciding Fri 15-May-20 20:59:09

Have name changed for this
After getting on well during lockdown last week or so me and dh have had a few rows and led to large row today
Some of it caused by my mh making me a little hard to live with but also him being an arse
I feel I need a few days away from him and the house just to get my head together but I can't due to lockdown go anywhere
Normally I could go to my mums which he's told me to do, and I know they would have me
I'm not sure what rules are on going to stay with someone for a week , I'm aware if dv ok to leave but he's not violent
I feel my mental health slipping a little after working hard to get back in track before all this happened and a few months back took a break at my parents and it really helped
Would this be a good enough reason to break lockdown and go as I don't want to spiral to bigger arguments etc
For now I'm just upstairs why he stays downstairs but house isn't that big to avoid long term

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Idododoidadada Fri 15-May-20 22:23:30

Yes, in the circumstances, it is acceptable to go and move in to your family home so they can ‘provide care’ due to MH issues. Go, you clearly can’t stay where you are.

However the fact that there has been arguments because you are ‘hard to live with’ & he is ‘being an arse’ and you say “Normally I could go to my mums which he's told me to do” makes me wonder how often this happens. Most couples do fall out but don’t generally leave the joints home in order to sort out their differences, if this happens regularly then maybe you need to examine if this is the right relationship to be in, maybe him being an arse is triggering your MH issues?

strugglingwithdeciding Fri 15-May-20 23:01:00

No doesn't happen regularly leaving, just a few months back I did go and stay at my mums because I needed a break but more because of my mh than arguments
The last week has been a bit tense and today blew up a bit, in normal times I think just being able to go to family or friends for a moan and coffee would prob be enough as I could get away and re-evaluate
Obviously at the moment although I could go for a walk ,not the same
I think the last few days I felt like I needed to go to my mums maybe more because I'm struggling with my mh again I was really improving before lockdown had new job etc , which I've now lost due to covid and I'm stuck at home struggling so maybe I'm taking the argument too much to heart compared to normal
I know some of my issues my dh is finding hard to deal with as well just thinking a week apart might give us both time to cool down and I know when I'm struggling with mh it can make me difficult to live with

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NoMoreDickheads Fri 15-May-20 23:18:18

It is acceptable to go away for a while to 'cool down' after an argument. www.rhw.co.uk/cooling-off-escaping-lockdown-arguments/ Also your health needs would count as your family caring for you, which is also allowed. xxx

strugglingwithdeciding Wed 20-May-20 15:59:16

Ok new question , so I went to mums for few days and now really need to go back home to move forward and sort things out long term and as We have no idea re : how lockdown will last I can't just wait as could be months so what are the rules in going back , can I just go back now ? Should I self isolate at home for 2 weeks ? My dh is now back at work going out everyday anyway or do I have to stay here I'm confused about what I'm allowed or should do and not sure where I should be asking ?

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strugglingwithdeciding Wed 20-May-20 16:00:54

Trying to get telephone appt with go to get some more help with mh as have realised a lot of issues were to do with this and how I was coping

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strugglingwithdeciding Wed 20-May-20 16:04:33

** With gp, just to add neither mum or dad or myself have shown any symptoms and I have practiced social distancing whilst at there's as much as possible ( used different bathroom etc )
My dh is out working though meeting up with others occasionally as part of his job but obviously following social distancing but mostly lone working
Have older dc at home too one hasn't left the house for a couple weeks other one was the same but just started meeting friend for exercise

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AgentJohnson Wed 20-May-20 17:26:31

How old are you kids? Personally, I think you should stay put until you’ve at least made contact with your GP and there’s a plan in place.

Pinging back and fourth isn’t helping your MH and probably isn’t helping your kids either. Have you explained to your kids what’s going on and what you’re doing about it? Kids can cope with change but uncertainty and waiting for the other shoe to drop, is damaging.

Take care.

strugglingwithdeciding Wed 20-May-20 18:04:29

Older teenagers and they have a little idea about mh issues that I struggled with a few months back as they are old enough to understand etc
I will be speaking to go tomorrow so will see what he says , just I'm a worrier and a bit of stickler for riles so wanted to know if there were any actual guidelines I should follow .

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