I posted a few weeks ago looking for help to identify my DP's behaviour because I couldn't figure it out. After discussion on here and lots of reflection on the years gone by in our relationship, I realised he is controlling, hugely insecure and very selfish. He always has been. We have not even socialised together with a group on an evening out for years as his behaviour is so unbearable whenever we did and I would feel so humiliated and like a failure that this was my relationship. Especially after DC. Couldn't bear the thought of people seeing it for what it was so just avoided, and thus lost a lot of my network of friends over the years.
Anyway, long story short I have told him I want to separate. I am due back to work from leave in a few weeks and although we had initially agreed I would give up my job now, I've now told him I won't be doing that. Now the current situation we are in with lockdown is obviously a difficult time to tell someone that you want to separate, and he seems to be trying to continue as normal as if I never said anything, even though I have written out the financial aspect of things and we have both agreed that he would be the one to move out when the time comes.
But that's the problem, when will that time come? It's hard for me to stick to my guns when we are both at home with our two DC, both of whom are very young. I do NOT want to give in and just end up not going through with the separation simply because lockdown dragged on so long and it just became easier to stay together and bear it. He has started counselling, but it's over the phone and I don't believe he can really be helped without face to face interaction. It's much easier for him to lie, bullshit and minimise over the phone, I don't think for a second that his counsellor has any idea what he is really like.
I suppose I'm just looking for a hand hold and reassurance that I am strong enough to do this
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Need encouragement to stay on course to LTB
19 replies
JungleJane11 · 15/05/2020 11:52
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