My feed
Premium
Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I've been cheated on.

48 replies

whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 05:26

I found out this weekend my boyfriend cheated on me. He invited a few 'friends' round whilst i was in bed and kissed another girl.

I'm gutted. I got a half hearted apology on Saturday and have not heard a word from him since. I feel so urgh.

How can I get over this?

OP posts:
Report
FirstTimer861 · 14/05/2020 05:39

Really sorry to hear this.
Lowest of the low.
How long have you been together? Any children? And how did you find out?

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 05:41

We were together for 18 months. No children. I just want to feel better.

OP posts:
Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 05:41

I found out through a friend. He didn't tell me.

OP posts:
Report
guanciale · 14/05/2020 05:43

do you live together? kick him out

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 05:45

No we don't live together. I just feel so sad all the time. The lack of contact had been worse than the act itself. How can he just cut me off so easily?

OP posts:
Report
copperoliver · 14/05/2020 05:49

Stay away from him he's obviously disrespectful and not worth you wasting your time on. Block him.
Once this is over find yourself someone nice who treats you how you deserve to be treated x

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 05:54

Thank you @copperoliver - there is no need to black him, I've not heard from him 😒. I feel so flat. I just want to feel better.

OP posts:
Report
FirstTimer861 · 14/05/2020 05:59

Has he ever done anything like this before?
This is where you have to set your boundaries! If you don't, and it will hurt like hell for a while, then this will just become a pattern.

He clearly doesn't care and he no remorse if he hasn't tried to contact you!

Do you have family and friends around you that you can lean on for support?

Report
MrsRudderless · 14/05/2020 06:10

You will feel better. Just not yet.

You've been let down.

But, on the bright side, you don't have to ever
allow him to do it again by never seeing/speaking/texting him again.

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 06:10

@FirstTimer861 - I don't know if he has done it before. I have a lot of support. I just feel so sick all the time. I'm meant to be working from home and I'm finding it impossible to concentrate. I feel so tired all the time.

OP posts:
Report
WhatInFreshHell · 14/05/2020 06:11

Sorry that you're going through this, you deserve better! Block, NC and move forward.

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 06:12

@MrsRudderless - thank you. I hate feeling like this. He had really let me down. So so badly.

OP posts:
Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 06:13

@WhatInFreshHell - thank you. I've not contacted him. I have nearly so many times. Even typed out the message. But I've not sent it.

OP posts:
Report
Longtalljosie · 14/05/2020 06:14

Don’t go back. If you do, you’re telling him you’re fine with a lack of loyalty, that he can do what he likes and you’ll put up with it. Find your anger. Delete and block his number, grieve for a bit then get to the stage where you see him for what he is...

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 06:16

@Longtalljosie - he doesn't even want me back. I've not heard anything. I want to find my anger because it's got to be better than this constant on the 'verge of tears' feeling.

OP posts:
Report
MsF1t · 14/05/2020 06:19

What people have already said- plus, am I right in thinking this has happened since lockdown? Because if he had a party during lockdown he is an utter twunt and not worth bothering with for that reason alone.

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 06:22

@MsF1t - yeah. I know. I was staying with him but have come back to my place (only me and DC here).

OP posts:
Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 06:23

I have a 10 year old DD.

OP posts:
Report
copperoliver · 14/05/2020 06:26

You will feel better in time, it will just take a bit and soon you will feel okay again, x

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 06:27

@copperoliver - I hope so. I really do. I'm so tired.

OP posts:
Report
Bluesheep8 · 14/05/2020 06:54

Hang on, he's invited friends round and you're back and forth between his house and yours with your child? Hmm

Report
Bluesheep8 · 14/05/2020 06:56

Sorry just read that you left his house (presumably due to this episode) but he still shouldn't have had friends round should he?

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Elephantonascooter · 14/05/2020 06:58

I'm sorry op. That's shit. But you will feel better, not yet, but you will. Everything happens for a reason.
Just a gentle reminder to get an STD test soon Flowers

Report
whatagonnahappennow · 14/05/2020 07:15

@Elephantonascooter thank you. I wish I could feel better now.

OP posts:
Report
yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 14/05/2020 09:31

The silent treatment is an abuser's tactic to make you feel grateful when they then get back in touch and then you are more compliant because they have trampled down a boundary. Be very careful. It's hard but you need to take control and block him to take away any opportunities for him to contact you

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.