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Start using Mumsnet PremiumDo narcissists/abusers ever change?
(4 Posts)It's the combination usually of the relationship. It's perfectly normal to see an abuser treating someone else perfectly normally, yet at the same time see it repeat. It's not been understood in science yet, but some individuals don't learn to show 'love' in a healthy way and have to be systematically taught. In some ways, it is a disability, but the differentiator is the accountability, acknowledgement & responsibility that there is a problem.
Then there are just arses...
I agree with PP.
It's a defect in their personality and to some degree they cannot help it. They can hide it in the initial stages but it's like we all hide our flaws when we meet new people.
It can be managed not treated but that takes a lot of self analysis and the correct interventions to do so
Quite sad really
I don't think they ever change but their behaviour can manifest differently depending on who they're in a relationship with.
Just that really..
I have recently left an abusive relationship as im sat here reflecting on the last 3 years and the things he has done and the way he has acted towards me, I’m confident I will eventually meet someone new and have tougher boundaries and not let the cycle repeat itself. So I’m thinking do narcissists or abusers ever actually see the error of their ways and actually change? (Not that I’m thinking of getting back with him at all) or do they find someone new and repeat their behaviour until the day they die?
I couldn’t ever imagine acting that way for the rest of my born days and making someone’s life a misery.
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