Advanced search

How to cope ?

(7 Posts)
goingtobeokoneday Tue 12-May-20 12:32:33

There's a lot of threads about abusive relationships and usually the advice is to leave.
I'm just wondering if there's any advice out there for people who have just discovered that their relationship might be abusive but are not ready/or able to leave at this time? Any ways of coping with put downs, sulking, ridicule, being unable to express any feelings of unhappiness etc? I've seen advice not to JADE in argument but then what? Leave the room? I already do that but then get blamed that I 'always leave', 'never have anything to say', 'hold everything in' (and that's what's given me a stomach ulcer)... the thing is it's true, i hold it in because if I expressed it it would be 100 times worse 😕
So what then? Is there anything i can do to make things less difficult whils I'm still here? Always agree woth him on everything? Placate constantly? Maybe what I'm asking is impossible?

OP’s posts: |
JustBeingMoi Tue 12-May-20 12:37:43

I'm also interested to know. I'm also at the point this situation is making me feel poorly and miserable.

Menora Tue 12-May-20 13:14:36

Have you looked into grey rock? It is less confrontational and it is about disconnecting, it can make someone behave a bit worse to begin with because they are not sure why they are getting a different reaction from you

iamthrough Tue 12-May-20 13:27:46

I would mirror @Menora and say get clued up on Grey Rock technique. Also look into F.O.G (Fear Obligation Guilt) both very useful - HOWEVER be very careful what you Google if sharing a house - the cookies could give you away.

goingtobeokoneday Tue 12-May-20 14:08:45

Thanks Menora

OP’s posts: |
goingtobeokoneday Tue 12-May-20 14:10:28

Ismthrough how to avoid that? I know that ads pop up on my phone of things i know DH has been looking at, so would he also be able to see ehat i have looked up online?

OP’s posts: |
iamthrough Tue 12-May-20 15:23:47

Sorry OP I'm no IT expert so I wouldn't want to advise and get things wrong for you. Just be aware really. Its probably mainly products that will "follow" you so to speak so to state an obvious one don't Google for "secret listening" devices. I think if you just look at websites for info you should be ok - but when you get the option of accepting cookies say no.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in