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Why do I feel like this

(8 Posts)
starfish18 Mon 11-May-20 14:35:35

I wouldn't normally write things like this on here but I have no one to talk to about how I feel and this is eating away at me everyday...no one knows how I feel...I'm really close to my parents but due to lockdown I haven't been able to talk to them about this...me and my husband have been together around 9 years...we're married and have a beautiful home and son...basically everything I've ever wished for...recently and I don't no if I've felt worse due to lockdown but I feel like we are more like friends...we don't really get much us time etc...I just can't help thinking about someone else I used to date and the what ifs...I just don't no why I feel like this...I no he has 2 children...I just don't want to live my life regretting anything as u only have one life but I can't help how I feel

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Lottiebugz22 Mon 11-May-20 15:10:50

Was he the one? What happened between you both.
I am in a relationship but I will always care for one of my ex Bfs. I chose my current partner over him but I will always feel that he was one of my soulmates. However compared to you I wouldn't want to get back with him as that chapter has finished. If it isn't finished for you or him then maybe it's worth taking a second look. Obviously end your relationship first as its not fair. How was your relationship before lockdown? Lockdown has taken its toll on mine for sure but its natural as we are spending so much time together. Xxx

starfish18 Mon 11-May-20 18:03:43

We only dated but it would of defiantly gone somewhere if I had given it a chance...he tried to get me back after we dated but I didn't go for it...our relationship before lockdown was good but my husband is always negative about things and puts a downer on things and can be moody like I'm sure I can be to...I no the other man has 2 children and a business now but it's not about money...I feel so bad for how I feel and having to write it on here but I just have no one to confide in at the moment...it breaks my heart to think how can I loose what I've got now and our son is only young...I don't want to be a home wrecker aswel 😟xx

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Lottiebugz22 Mon 11-May-20 18:41:46

You obviously have strong feelings. Have you been talking to him during lockdown? My friend actually met her current partner in lockdown over instagram. They knew each other years ago but they got talking again and they've said they love eachother and I genuinely believe it. I think some people just click and are meant for eachother. However, you'd have to seriously weigh up if it's worth breaking up your family over it. Make sure you're not just romanticising the idea as well xxx

starfish18 Mon 11-May-20 18:53:56

No we haven't spoke or seen each other since 2012...I no I need to take time and see how things go...such a horrible position to be in...lockdown isn't helping...thank u for ur help xx

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pog100 Mon 11-May-20 19:03:46

Basically you know that after 8 years the other one is a non runner even leaving aside any relationship he might be in. However, the fact you are dwelling on it so intensely maybe saying something about your current relationship. It certainly seems to need work at the very least. I think you need a serious conversation about how to freshen it up and make it last

HannaH021 Mon 11-May-20 19:16:16

I'm sorry you feel that... There is nothing to suggest this guy would have been the right for you, the fact you left him for a good reason, is sufficient to make you reflect on the reasons you left, and not the reasons for staying. If that guy had cheated, there is nothing to say he wouldnt cheat again, nor that he's faithful to his wife! (and vice versa)...

You are putting these thoughts in ur mind because you arent happy... And addressing that should be ur sole focus. (1) How to revive your current situation or (2) how to take a break from it... Or (3) how to exit... Never exit a long term relationship with taking a break to reflect on the situation and breathe in a fresh air... Have an open and honest conversation about how you feel with your husband, no one wants to live unhappy forever, if you need counselling go for it...
The other guy is over, you have a void in ur heart which u need to fill again

starfish18 Mon 11-May-20 20:24:10

No he didn't cheat I just didn't give him a chance...this is the only regret I have...ye I need to talk to my husband as how I feel isn't right xx

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