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Not seeing boyfriend during lockdown but squabbling with him for breaking the 'rules'

(12 Posts)
Petals23 Mon 11-May-20 12:54:27

So I've posted before about how my boyfriend of four years moved to a different town an hour away, where his best friend and family had already moved to. This move took place about 16 months ago. We haven't seen each other during lockdown and I've seen literally no one and haven't been working for the last 8 weeks. Even though I'm used to living alone and usually have no problem with it, I am feeling down and teary the last few weeks, which is unusual for me. It's especially worse after talking to my boyfriend when he tells me he's been for walks with his mate/ drinks and dinner in the house with this family. He said it's fine because he's not seeing anyone else. I've said to him sure we all could do that. Things are tense between us on the phone now sometimes. I feel like I'm always going to be second best to this friend as he's such a big part of his life.... he even moved away from our town to be nearer him. Am I being unreasonable in feeling down and annoyed about this whole situation?

OP’s posts: |
therona Mon 11-May-20 12:58:32

After four years I'd expect you to be higher on his list of priorities than his mate! What's the reason you haven't moved in together yet?

TorkTorkBam Mon 11-May-20 12:59:24

You are flogging a dead donkey.

He is making reasonable risk assessed choices, including the choice to move away from you. The writing is on the wall for the relationship.

Northernsoullover Mon 11-May-20 12:59:52

I'd be rethinking your relationship if I were you.

yearinyearout Mon 11-May-20 13:00:30

If my bf of four years moved away from me to be nearer his mate, he wouldn't be my BF any longer.

TemoraryUsername Mon 11-May-20 13:02:53

IIRC he's got a really unhealthy relationship with his mate. You can do better xx

Cocobean30 Mon 11-May-20 14:09:04

Agree with everyone here, he should have put you as his priority. Moving away after four years together isn’t progress

AgentJohnson Mon 11-May-20 20:10:26

You ain’t on his priority listZ

Dontbeme Mon 11-May-20 20:51:45

I think the past few weeks of lock down has brought into stark relief the true nature of your relationship OP. That is why you are unusually down and sad, you do not have the distractions that are usually there to occupy you and it has highlighted how unloved you feel by your "D"P. Combined with hearing about the time and effort he goes to for others, of course you are not feeling like yourself. It is time to take a good long hard look at how he treats you and realise you deserve better.

ALovelyBitOfSquirrel Mon 11-May-20 21:01:39

If my bf of four years moved away from me to be nearer his mate, he wouldn't be my BF any longer


Sorry op but to use a terrible cliché, he's just not that into you.

You'd expect to progress and have more commitment in that amount of time, not less. Do yourself a favour and let go so you can find someone who deserves you.,

TinRoofRusty Mon 11-May-20 21:08:17

I'd not have wasted 4 years on him and at this point wouldn't want a second more on him.

OoohTheStatsDontLie Mon 11-May-20 21:41:46


I think I posted on your previous thread saying the same thing- he is showing you he is not that bothered about you. You need to split up with him.

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