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Lockdown Stress!(2 Posts)
Ok I’m after some advice, opinions, confirmation or reassurance! Basically I have been in a relationship for 4 years and my partner has 3 children from a relationship that ended 6 years ago.
She is now in another long term relationship and they remain good friends. Since the lockdown my mind has gone into complete overdrive and I have convinced myself he’s still in love with her. I cannot think of anything else. It is causing huge arguements between us. Neither her nor my partner are currently working so have a lot of time on their hands. They have started to FaceTime each other everyday for a few hours so that he can see the kids. I am finding myself analysing his every movement and word and trying to guess what he means by it. I feel like because he’s speaking to her more, his feelings are coming back. He has started to talk about her a lot more. He has also started being overly nice to me and I’m feeling like it’s guilt because he always does it after their FaceTime chat, he comes straight over to me and cuddles and kisses me. It’s like he’s chatting with her, feels a pang of love, feels guilty and then comes to kiss me. He isn’t usually tactile at all and it’s putting me on edge. When I brought my thoughts up with him he flew off the handle and didn’t speak to me for 3 days... is this because I have uncovered his true feelings? He said it was because he was offended because I didn’t trust him. After this arguement, he conveniently pretended to forget her name which is ludicrous, because that’s never happened before. Can I have your opinions please because I am going out of my mind thank you!
" is this because I have uncovered his true feelings? "
The short answer is: people on Mumsnet don't know the answer to that question (which is probably why there haven't been any other responses so far) - someone would have to know a great deal more about you and him and the situation to be able to really help you. If it is true that you are "going out of my mind" then the best thing to do is get some professional help from a counsellor or psychotherapist. It doesn't have to be couples counselling if he is not keen - just find a counsellor for yourself (many are working online or by phone at the moment). If cost is an issue, there will be a low-cost option you can find nearby. You are in a great deal of distress - you deserve to take that seriously and get real help.
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