I am early 40s and a normal weight. I have a history of eating disorder when I was late teens/early 20s but it never needed treatment and resolved. Because of this I have made a conscious decision over the years never to diet as I know how easy it is for the old unhealthy thinking patterns to come back. Other than the normal body consciousness lots of woman have, I give my history very little thought. I usually eat pretty healthily and exercise moderately on a regular basis. During lockdown this has been more difficult for practical reasons and I may have gained a few pounds.
I have a fairly new relationship of 6 months. It has all been going very well and we have been having regular video call dates during lockdown which are usually lots of fun. Last night on a video chat he admired my boobs and I made the mistake of saying they were bigger because I had recently gained weight. He then mentioned that when we have eaten together and I prepare the meals he is not used to only getting 50% of the portion. (He does exercise intensively and regularly and gets hungry.) He said that no previous partner had ever served him up a similar measure to herself, she had always given him the larger share. I found this very hurtful as the implication was I was more greedy than previous girlfriends. Most meals I prepare have been ready meals rather than home cooked so portions are aimed for two people. If I sacrificed my portion so he could eat more I think I would end up hungry. I know I am sensitive due to my old body image issues but I told him I found this a bit upsetting and said he is welcome to fill up on other food as he knows I would always have bread/snacks available. Indeed I have always checked if he is hungry and offered more food.
It has left me feeling quite sad and insecure, not to mention disappointed as I thought I had met someone who fancied me and wasn’t needing to compare me to previous relationships. I have mentioned it hurt me but he ended the call and he has told me that I took it out of context. I have been emotionally abused in previous relationships and am keen not to be denigrated yet again. How do I balance trying to be laid back about possibly slightly thoughtless comments from a boyfriend with also maintaining boundaries around being respected and not criticised?
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Relationships
Am I being too sensitive?
Lockdownbody · 10/05/2020 09:36
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