Hi all,
Just need some outside perspective as I am severely sleep-deprived and exhausted and sore (I have an 11-day old son, via emergency c section). Me and DP live together but are unmarried, we are, however, engaged.
I'll try not to drip feed so bear with me.
I have been with my DP for 4 years now. He is always pretty funny with his phone - always putting it face down, sleeps with it under his pillow but always comes up with a reason as to why and those reasons seem plausible. I have been cheated on in the past so any suspicions I have/had I have tried to ignore as I don't want to come across as controlling or just a bitch.
We have a good relationship, I generally trust him but I do get paranoid due to my past and feel unsettled sometimes. Anyway, last night he was typing on his phone and when I came to give him a hug around the shoulders he exited Instagram very quickly and I thought fuck it, I'm going to ask him whats what.
I ask him if he is hiding anything, he says no. I ask if I can see his phone and he says yes but still protests he is innocent with nothing to hide. I quickly browse things with him next to me looking on and he is white as a ghost even though he is 'innocent' in this. So I find this message from apparently an old school friend and he is obviously flirting with her, she, however, doesn't seem to bite. He carries on flirting through the messages asking her when they are going 'to hang out' telling her the area where we live. I am obviously visibly upset at this point. He then proceeds to shout at me (in front of our son) telling me I'm blowing this out of proportion and I'm crazy, he got aggressive with his attitude, nothing physical but it scared me. He continues to tell me I'm being irrational and says 'so I'm not allowed to speak to my friends??' until I backed down and apologised.
He then apologises later on and we have a long discussion where he promises he has always been faithful to me.
I'm stuck. I know I shouldn't have asked to look through his phone, I wonder if that's because I'm paranoid or not. I realise I should trust him and I don't know whether this is all because of my past or what. I haven't slept tonight because I cannot stop thinking about it and questioning myself.
Thank you for reading.
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Am I being irrational?
12 replies
daisy129437 · 10/05/2020 04:21
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