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What's app question

(32 Posts)
Veiaola Fri 08-May-20 08:31:34

Firstly before I get flamed, I have been cheated on before so my radar heightened.

I am feeling increasing uncomfortable by DH behaviour on what's app. He goes on it always when he is on his own, never Infront of me. Or when I leave the room.

I can send him a message when he sat next to me, Radom garden stuff😳 can hear the phone beep in his pocket but he never opens what's app Infront of me. I can see when he goes on it from last seen, always first thing in a morning, if I go to toilet or away from him etc I can see he been on. My spidery senses going overboard. He doesn't have any friends or what's app group he goes on. I sit on sofa next to him an go on what's app, I don't have anything to hide. His phone is permanently locked, how ever I did get chance recently to get his phone whilst on a call. A unusual opportunity as he won't even let me hold the phone! I feel awful for doing it but did look at settings to see who was taking up most data on what's app is me😳 .
My question is if he deleting what's app message it won't show up on the used data will it, I have tried on my own phone an this looks likely. I feel bonkers for asking this but his behaviour isn't Normal with his phone is it?

OP’s posts: |
Babooshkar Fri 08-May-20 08:40:05

Do you know the passcode to his phone?

Veiaola Fri 08-May-20 08:41:56

No I don't.

OP’s posts: |
Sparkles333 Fri 08-May-20 08:43:52

Ask him outright, if hes nothing to hide he'll show you.

Ginqueen456 Fri 08-May-20 08:48:19

It could just be a case of he'd rather spend his time with you not burrowed deep into his phone.

Sparkles333 Fri 08-May-20 08:51:42

Have you thought that maybe he's going on to see when you were last on and you're both thinking the same about each other 🤷🏻‍♀️

Veiaola Fri 08-May-20 08:53:45

Yes I have thought that sparkleblush

OP’s posts: |
Sparkles333 Fri 08-May-20 08:58:17

I think you should ask him. You may end up laughing together about the whole thing. 😊

Veiaola Fri 08-May-20 09:12:48

I really do hope so sparkle, I have had enough heart ache❤️

OP’s posts: |
LemonTT Fri 08-May-20 09:20:26

He uses his phone like me. In other words he checks it sporadically and not in company. I don’t let other people into it because it has private activity and conversations on it. The conversations are not just private to me.

I would not let you have access because you are suspicious and because of problems you had in the past. If you told me what you were doing it would be a red flag.

Songsofexperience Fri 08-May-20 09:25:21

I'm with lemon on this. H opened a WhatsApp conversation I was having with a close friend once, then commented on it, and I truly felt violated. One of the reasons we're apart. Ask him. Tell him about your struggles with trust. Do not snoop.

blue30 Fri 08-May-20 09:59:07

If I’m having 1 on 1 time with my partner I make myself not check my phone because it’s rude and makes you ‘not present’, he could still be a douchebag but the phone behaviour alone doesn’t confirm it.

Shoxfordian Fri 08-May-20 10:19:45

Has he cheated on you before or someone else? Its not fair to blame him for another man's mistakes. I would actually dump you for going through my phone.

If you don't trust him then there's no point in being together anyway

NoMoreDickheads Fri 08-May-20 12:15:17

I would think not doing it when you're in the room/doing it as soon as your not was shifty, too.

Sally872 Fri 08-May-20 12:21:16

Could be suspicious, but equally could be polite. I wouldn't worry about this alone. Especially as he never messages anyone in front of you. I would expect him to send innocent messages around you and be discrete about the inappropriate ones.

Veiaola Fri 08-May-20 13:46:19

Thanks for responding all much appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
MaeveDidIt Fri 08-May-20 16:26:59

..."I can see when he goes on it from last seen, always first thing in a morning, if I go to toilet or away from him etc I can see he been on."

I would be very suspicious about his behaviour.

Also his phone being permanently locked and not opening messages when you are present.

Why the secretive behaviour if he's got nothing to hide!?

MaeveDidIt Fri 08-May-20 16:28:24

... and he doesn't even let you hold the phone!?

Sickandtiredofthisshit Fri 08-May-20 17:04:12

He’s left ‘last seen’ on. That’s a good sign.

MaeveDidIt Fri 08-May-20 17:12:56

@sickandtired
It depend if he's tech savy.
I've got dozens of contacts on whatsapp and all of them have 'last seen' on them.

Mintlegs Fri 08-May-20 18:30:04

If my spider senses were going mad I would wait until he was drunk asleep and use his finger to open the phone and have a look! This will it be a popular move on here but hey ho, you need to know!

Kintsugi16 Fri 08-May-20 21:42:28

My DH was doing similar.
It was an affair

MrShyGuy Fri 08-May-20 21:48:28

When i guy does that he knuip die kat in die donkerte

PinkMonkeyBird Fri 08-May-20 22:13:39

My ex was like this and yes, he was having an affair.

MrShyGuy Fri 08-May-20 22:15:02

I hope u happy again@ pink monkey

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