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Resentment in relationships- did you get over it?(2 Posts)
With time on my hands, I've been thinking about the issue of resentment in relationships and how people deal with it. Mainly, how do you address and overcome the resentment you feel towards your OH? Have you managed it successfully? I want to know how best to deal with it in my next r'ship.
Since my recent break up, I realised that I had been holding on to resentment and it really eroded my happiness- and probably his in all honesty.
For example, when we lived together, it was in an area close to his work. It was his choice of place. I commuted for over an hour each way to my job and it cost me a bleeding fortune. He earned more than double what I did and traveled 15 minutes to his work. He'd think nothing of wanting to travel over weekends when I was tired AF from the working week. I guess the dissatisfaction seeped in around these little imbalances and they grew into bigger items of bitterness over time. There was the added feeling that my complaints were dismissed which obviously added fuel to the fire. I'm glad I get a chance to have a future with someone new.
But my question especially where the issues of childrearing come up- is how have you dealt with your feelings of resentment towards your OH? What strategies have you found helpful- or not? Can resentment be overcome or does it lead to the slow death of a r'ship?
Perhaps it starts with not selling yourself short in the beginning. I think women tend to bend over backwards for their partners in the first rush, they want to, they're eager to, they put up with things they shouldn't and let the man have his way, and it's only down the road when the shine has worn off his gilded cock that the unfairness clanks home.
Maybe if we set tougher boundaries to start with, we wouldn't end up so bloody disappointed and resentful.
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