Talk

Advanced search

what would you think of a woman who'd been married 3 times

(149 Posts)
returnofthemollymawks Thu 07-May-20 09:35:25

Would you judge? Would you have a relationship with her?
She seems quite nice but I can't help but wonder what it is about her that makes her relationships fail?

OP’s posts: |
notsureneversure Thu 07-May-20 09:37:09

I call TAAT.

Pinkblueberry Thu 07-May-20 09:40:32

I think it depends on how long each relationship has lasted. My step mum is in her fifties and has been married three times - I think that’s very different to being married three times by the the time your thirty.
Whether you married her was obviously up to you - would you judge the same if she simply had three different partners?
It takes two to make a relationship ‘fail’. Maybe she just doesn’t put up with any bullshit - again that’s all up to you.

returnofthemollymawks Thu 07-May-20 09:41:31

Why? I know a lovely woman who is single and I am attracted to her but she has had 3 marriages. I haven't tried to take things further but I am interested.

OP’s posts: |
Bagelsandbrie Thu 07-May-20 09:45:51

Totally depends why the marriages ended. I wouldn’t judge. I left my dds dad because he was abusive - left when dd was 6 months old, we had been together 5 years. I then remarried when dd was 18 months. He left me 4 years later for a girlfriend he’d had before me he’d found on Facebook (!!) and then I got remarried again... now been with dh nearly 12 years. We have a son together and he’s an amazing step father to dd now aged very late teens. Totally depends on the situation.

chunkyrun Thu 07-May-20 09:45:50

Likes getting married

sleepyhead Thu 07-May-20 09:46:33

Depends how old she is. A woman in her 60s with 3 marriages behind her could have quite different reasons for the breakdown of each one.

E.g.

Marriage 1 - married too young in late teens, in love with love and in a time where you were expected to marry if you wanted to live together long term. Split up when they realised they didn't actually like each other that much.

Marriage 2 - 10 year marriage blighted by domestic violence and an alcoholic husband which she left in her mid 30s with 2 children

Marriage 3 - Shortish marriage in her 40s after the children left home. Grew apart, issues with stepchildren. Parted without animosity on either side.

Marriage 4 - In her 50s, still going,

(someone I know - perfectly nice, no particularly glaring character defects)

sleepyhead Thu 07-May-20 09:49:40

And yes, actually the only thing that makes her maybe a bit different to most people is she likes being married and probably got married a couple of times when most people would just live together.

THNG5 Thu 07-May-20 09:50:17

Is this a reverse of the other (exact same) thread?

GigiLamour Thu 07-May-20 09:51:17

I'd think she was an optimist.

ellanwood Thu 07-May-20 09:51:40

I'd assume she doesn't know how to stay married. That might sound daft but there's an art to it. You have to know and care about the difference in physical and emotional states between 'in love' (heady, exciting) and 'love' (warm, enduring but less thrilling day-in, day-out.)

Either she's the kind who gets bored the minute the mills & Boon romance starts to die down and started looking for adventure elsewhere, or she's had really bad taste in men and kicked out a bunch of cheaters and chancers. Why don't you ask her?

felineflutter Thu 07-May-20 09:53:25

Haha people are much more accommodating to women in this situation. The thread with the man in a similar situation is a shitshow.

Tiredmum100 Thu 07-May-20 09:57:45

@sleepyhead I know someone exactly the same. I don't think it's any reflection on the person not making marriages work, just the circumstances involved!

iVampire Thu 07-May-20 10:00:29

Funny that there are two threads this morning, one about a thrice divorced man and one about a thrice divorced woman

I do sometimes wonder if we’re being experimented on (in a socio-linguistic sort of way)

bengalcat Thu 07-May-20 10:00:34

Just like serial married men - a tendency to hope over common sense . Not judging though .
As it happens I’ve an aunt on husband number three - previous two died ( of natural causes ) . Good luck to her .

lifeisgoodmostofthetime Thu 07-May-20 10:03:41

Sounds likes my cousin. She rushes into relationships as she doesn't like to be single. Everything is great until they marry and she ends up hating him. She's on her third one now and it's not going good. She married for the wrong reason. I do judge her for marrying three times.

madcatladyforever Thu 07-May-20 10:03:43

Well I've been married and divorced twice because apparently I am an old witch who refuses to tolerate being some blokes maid and dishwasher and worship the ground he walks on and I am too well educated.
My husbands didn't really like being married to someone with a masters who earned more than them.
I am also extremely intolerant of bullshit so future suitors beware.

SporadicNamechange Thu 07-May-20 10:05:02

Surely that’s just triumph of hope over experience.

I think I’d probably admire her optimism.

Greenkit Thu 07-May-20 10:09:21

Was married at 16 to a 22yr old alcoholic lasted a year or so

Married at 25 to a 25yr old lasted 29 yrs

Hope to marry again to the love of my life

Greenkit Thu 07-May-20 10:11:04

@ellanwood what tosh

Northernsoullover Thu 07-May-20 10:11:19

This is soooo a TAAT. But yes people are much more forgiving to a female hmm

Musti Thu 07-May-20 10:12:41

Well I've not been married 3 times but I've been in 3 long term relationships (as well as a couple of shorter ones). The first one lasted 10 years and was a great relationship but my feelings for him changed. The second one because he cheated on me and the third one because he was emotionally and financially abusive, controllingand jealous.

I do wonder if it's me, the choices I make. I don't want to live with anyone again and quite happy seeing someone and having fun without all the bad bits of a relationship.

LittleWing80 Thu 07-May-20 10:12:54

Funny that there are two threads this morning, one about a thrice divorced man and one about a thrice divorced woman
Was thinking the same.... seems that someone is trying to turn a genuine question into a gender debate 🙄

IndieTara Thu 07-May-20 10:14:34

@return do you even know if she is attracted to you?

returnofthemollymawks Thu 07-May-20 10:16:11

I don't know all the details but marriage 1 was about 3 years, marriage 2 was 6 years and marriage 3 was over 10 years and she's been single since marriage 3 ended.

OP’s posts: |

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in