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I despise DH/DP

(9 Posts)
pancakeloverrr Thu 07-May-20 03:06:26

Without going into to much detail, I'm a SAHM, despise my partner, every penny spent is nit picked by partner, even monetary gifts from my mum.

I don't want to stay at home anymore, would like to get back to work, don't think our relationship will survive, DP has said years ago that he would change, he does then reverts back to his usual self.

He has said he fancies other women, not me. Then changed his mind. Then rejected me sexually for years. I couldn't be arsed anymore. I don't even fancy him anymore.

Bottom line- I am exhausted. Lots of self doubt due to partner's covert verbal attacks. I don't love him. He doesn't love me, yet keeps telling me I'm the one with issues.

What can I do to just to ignore him during the lockdown and until the economy picks back up?

OP’s posts: |
Wanderlust21 Thu 07-May-20 03:15:46

Why would you want to endure this a second longer? You are being abused and there is nothing 'cocert' about it.

You know you are allowed to leave during this situation right? Even in lockdown.

What's the housing situation like? Rent/own/mortgage?

Wanderlust21 Thu 07-May-20 03:16:16


pancakeloverrr Thu 07-May-20 03:20:46

When we stay in different rooms, he backs off and stop talking to me (so no verbal attacks).

I'm thinking I have no choice but to endure living together until this virus issue is over.

The thing is, he won't stay in another room very long. I despise being in the same room with him

OP’s posts: |
Wanderlust21 Thu 07-May-20 03:26:15

Do you have family you could go stay with?
Not ideal of course but...

I dont think staying with him a second longer than necessary is good for you. Or the kids, who will pick up on the atmosphere if nothing else.

Ideally he would be the one to go but it sounds like he would refuse. So dont cut off your nose to spite your face. Just get yourself out if possible.

If you have to wait a bit longer then, do you have a spare room you could move into? Or even if it means moving in with the kids for a bit.

1forAll74 Thu 07-May-20 04:05:36

Such very strong words from you, and it sounds like you really do mean them. Can you possibly go on, until something is sorted out after lock down...I assume that you have a child,or children, so you have to think about lots of things now.

DianaT1969 Thu 07-May-20 04:45:42

How many children did you have with him? Are they under school age? What are your plans for after lockdown in terms of home, job, childcare etc?

LannieDuck Thu 07-May-20 12:03:51

You can start to make plans. How old are your children? What will it take to get back to work? Do you have family support?

thepeopleversuswork Thu 07-May-20 12:38:42

This relationship is clearly over. When and how you actually end it is up for debate, but surely knowing it has a deadline must help?

I'm not going to advise you as to whether to go before lockdown or not because that's up to you and its clearly more difficult than it sounds. But if you don't leave now you have to work towards it. I assume you don't work: how employable are you? I know its difficult at the moment but all things being equal do you have skills and qualifications?

Do you have family you could stay with temporarily?

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