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I’d like a moan about my mother please.(4 Posts)
She knows my marriage of 17 years is dead and that as soon as we are out of lockdown I am divorcing him because he is mean and cold and cruel and controlling, and is manipulating the children. She knows all this. But for reasons I’ve never been able to articulate, anyone I find fault with, she loves. And anyone I’m fond of, she pulls to bits.
Most of the time our communication is very top-line, and pleasant. The very second that I share anything deeper, she takes the opposing view, especially if it relates to my husband. He has been a colossal arse today, disrespectful, shouting and finally told me that I wasn’t allowed to use his car. Mine has been packed away in the garage seeing as we have all been quarantined, but he made me get it out, move loads of stuff that was in the way, rather than let me drive his car.
I was telling my mum and all she said was “what did you need to go out so badly for anyway?”
I don’t know why she does this, and why she is so crap when it comes to my needing any support, but she is. And now I’m cross with myself for even putting myself in that position.
I know she loves me, I just don’t know why she does this! Can anyone help?
Yeh all of "these mums" love their kids, yet they do this 😂 mine too tbh!
I have no idea.. maybe she likes that control when she talks to you or that sense of importance that her opinion matters 🙄 my mums like that anyway, it has to be about her and her delusions and opinions!
move on with your life. Just think of her as white when she does this
I left my EA and controlling husband and my Mum took his side and disinhertited me. She hates my second husband just because he makes me happy and I don't deserve to be happy because I brought disgrace on her family name. I agree with PP - move on - otherwise she will do more damage to your mental health than your DH. Thus is experience speaking.
We learn about relationships first and foremost from our parents.
Your mother seems very much like your current H in that she is abusive too. She perhaps sees a kindred spirit in this man.
I would seriously consider lowering all contact levels to a point of zero going forward.
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