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I need to say thank you!

(15 Posts)
LooptheL00p Mon 04-May-20 23:24:20

A couple of years ago, I posted on mumsnet in utter despair, about an exchange & some messages between my (then!) H and I. I desperately needed some objective opinions about his behaviour, but couldn't quite cope with the embarrassment that I felt at the time of asking friends.

I won't go into the specifics as it ended up in the Mirror - I do not wish to repeat that fiasco!

A fair number of mumsnetters spotted that his behaviour went a lot deeper; that what I had posted only just scratched the surface of our relationship. They told me as much and told me to run, to get away, to start over.

So I did!

Ten years of an utterly miserable, controlling and abusive relationship.
Sometimes you really do need an anonymous, impartial collective to put things into perspective for you. Especially when you have spent so long being told that it is all your fault, being manipulated into thinking that your life is normal.

Two years later, I am a completely different person. I am happy to my absolute core. I have a loving partner, an equal relationship, (the likes of which I'm not sure I realised existed), a better job, a lovely house and obviously happier and safer children! I have freedom and love.

It was tough for a few months, but it will be worth it for the rest of my life. And the rest of my girls'.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to anyone who took the time to comment, back in 2018. Who took time out of their own lives to message. Because you saved mine.

OP’s posts: |
TheresGotToBeMoreToLife Mon 04-May-20 23:25:33

How utterly wonderful. You deserve it flowers

FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue Mon 04-May-20 23:26:46

Wow, that's fantastic. Nest of vipers strikes again! But well done you for making that leap.

Louise0701 Mon 04-May-20 23:28:55

So happy for you, OP. Lovely to read this post.

RUSU92 Mon 04-May-20 23:31:03

The beauty of MN strikes again! So please you have built a great life for you and your girls. Life is too short for putting up with shitty relationships!

I also left my XH after posting on here and realising that it wasn't right or normal to feel the way I did. Bloody love this vipers' nest. And now I'm one of the vipers, cheerleading, as no doubt you will be doing now too, and helping the next wave of women who deserve more.

I don't know if I was on your thread (probably, as I hang around mainly in Relationships!) but either way, I'm so happy to hear your update flowers

NoMoreDickheads Tue 05-May-20 00:02:47

I'm fairly new here. Glad you're doing well. MN is awesome but you made it happen. xx

quaylock Tue 05-May-20 03:57:37

Delighted for you 🙏

TwentyViginti Tue 05-May-20 07:56:15

How lovely! I hope your post gives strength and hope to other women currently struggling in awful relationships.

Windmillwhirl Tue 05-May-20 08:18:37

What a wonderful post. Thank you for posting. I'm sure it will help others struggling in their abusive relationships.I truly am delighted for you flowers

Doginahat Tue 05-May-20 08:46:44

Well done. What a great update xx

Greenkit Tue 05-May-20 09:50:09

Fantastic post, so pleased you have changed your life around.

Same finally realised I didn't need to put up with a crap marriage and left. I now how the best life with a new man

Zaphodsotherhead Tue 05-May-20 10:02:57

That's lovely news - but YOU did it, not MN. How many people do we see ignoring post after post telling them that their partner is abusive and whittering on about him being 'a great dad' and 'not that bad really'?

So kudos to you for listening, taking advice and acting on it.

You rock.

JeffJarrett Tue 05-May-20 10:05:35

I love this. It's great when you come out of the other side and rediscover yourself again.

I left a toxic 10 year relationship before I found Mumsnet, but I think it's invaluable in helping people realise what isn't normal and healthy in a relationship and giving people the advice and moral support to break free.

So happy you're in a good place OP smile

Jamandbreadd Tue 05-May-20 12:15:59

So happy for you. MN has also really helped me rediscover my self esteem and see situations in a new light so I totally get you and kudos for making yourself a beautiful life for you and your girls. Very inspiring to me right now (in a similar situation to your old one I think) x

Gutterton Tue 05-May-20 12:29:48

That’s wonderful to see that YOU did that with a bit of support and insight from others. How wonderful for you and your DCs - am amazing lifeline and lifelong gift to them. Would you mind posting a link or drop some key words as I am trying to imagine which situation it was.

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