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(8 Posts)
Dahlia7 Mon 17-Sep-07 15:16:19

I posted a response about this on another thread about affairs. But I think I need some advice of my own:

I have just found out that my partner of 5 years fell in love iwth a woman on a work trip abroad about one and half years ago. It was a very intense frienship to start off with but developed into a massive infatuation. They kept in contact via email (I recently found the messages) and he declared his love and admiration for her many times. It came to and end a few months later, I'm not sure how - he woke up, she was more sensible. Our relationship had always been really good on the whole and I never guessed at the time, though I was jealous of their friendship.

However on discovering these messages I have found that he is trying to rekindle the friendship or something more I'm not sure (he sent her a song called 'Nothing without you' - am I a fool to believe this was an innocent gesture?) He is due to meet her again (as part of a group) through work and says he wants to get rid of the tension.

He seems devasted about the whole thing but I just don't know what to believe any more or what to do. I'd be really grateful for some advice.

bubblagirl Mon 17-Sep-07 15:37:34

he may need to get it out his system but somewhere he obviously feels something for her and he may love you too but he genuinly seems to have something for her i'd be worried about them meeting again

you need to have a serious talk and say that maybe its best he go untill he knows for sure what he wants as you dont want to be second best he sounds confused

sunshinegirl Mon 17-Sep-07 15:46:21

How much have you spoken to him about it all? I think I would be worried, esp with the song and all.

Tortington Mon 17-Sep-07 15:52:41

i think i would hide my naivity if i were you - of course you are desperate to believe that the man you love wouldnt do this - and so anything remotely feasible you will cling onto.

my conversation would go like this " do you really think i came down in the last shower of shit? eh? - i'm telling you something mister - don't think if you fuck this up i am going to be up your arse with <adopt whingey voice> love me love me love me <drop voice> becuase i can manage without you - i will will screw you over and don't think i wont - you will not fuck up our childrens lives and get away with it you piece of narcassistic shit <adopt whingy voice mimic him> ooooh someone loves me and thinks i am attractive <drop voice> well they fucking well wont when i have half your money, your house and ithe CSA is on your back for maintenance and you become a macdonalds dad.

so buck up you weedy nouse - realise you do have it all - the grass aint greener - make a decision where you want to be - but DONT fuck me about"

now whether yoiu actually follow through on any of that is another thing - but i would grow a pair of bollocks if i were you and tell him your after standing on his.

fawkeoff Mon 17-Sep-07 15:55:35

what she said grin

hertsnessex Mon 17-Sep-07 15:57:25

GO CUSTARDO!!!!! grin

Think OP mentions that she doesnt have kids - but they are trying - FWIW - If I were you id stop trying for now.

Tortington Mon 17-Sep-07 16:04:34

must learn to read grin

hertsnessex Mon 17-Sep-07 16:18:48

ignore me custardo - it wasnt in ops op, it was on her other thread. sorry, and yes, you can read!

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