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(113 Posts)
Greentrees33 Mon 04-May-20 14:45:07

I need some opinions please. My husband sent this message (trying to attach this) to an ex colleague the day she left. I feel that I may be too emotional/biased so wanted opinions please.

What do you think of this message? To me it seems he has feelings for her and that it is reciprocated but nothing has happened. Do you think this is correct or am I over thinking this?

I also feel that if she didn’t already, the recipient knows his feelings as a result of his text?

Or am I just being crazy and this is all very platonic /fine no need to think anything of it? Please be gentle

Thank you very much in advance

OP’s posts: |
Greentrees33 Mon 04-May-20 14:46:50

Part 1

OP’s posts: |
LittleWing80 Mon 04-May-20 14:47:03

I can’t see an attachment.

Greentrees33 Mon 04-May-20 14:47:17

Part 2

OP’s posts: |
LittleWing80 Mon 04-May-20 14:48:07

Seen it now

Futurenostalgia Mon 04-May-20 14:48:22

He sounds smitten yes but you can’t tell if it is reciprocated from that.

yesterdaystotalsteps123 Mon 04-May-20 14:49:02

That text is creepy. Is he older than her? It's way over the top and inappropriate. If I received that I would be horrified and if a partner sent it I would be livid. It's gross

Futurenostalgia Mon 04-May-20 14:49:13

Hmm not sure even with part 2. Sounds a bit soppy for a colleague leaving.

Corruptedtongue Mon 04-May-20 14:49:37

Urgh it’s completely OTT, very smarmy. Bet she cringed when she got that.

LittleWing80 Mon 04-May-20 14:49:57

It feels very emotionally involved but at the same time there doesn’t seem to be any attempts to stay in contact. Is there anything after that?
Is he the type to pour his heart out easily?

rvby Mon 04-May-20 14:50:49

He has a crush on her, and it's not reciprocated at all

SpudsAreLife84 Mon 04-May-20 14:51:18

What?! Who says that?! shock I'm cringing so hard reading that!

Corruptedtongue Mon 04-May-20 14:51:19

Just read part 2! So she didn’t throw up, I’d say her response is fairly lukewarm.

LittleWing80 Mon 04-May-20 14:53:54

Also it was sent at 4pm so presumably wasnt drunk at the leaving do 🤔

Honeyroar Mon 04-May-20 14:54:16

Ew, I’d be gutted to discover that my husband had written that to a colleague.

mysticmeg1922 Mon 04-May-20 14:56:16

Hmmmm I would prob lose the plot if my partner sent that . I don't think she has feelings for him like he has her . In actual fact the bit where she says I would of loved to of seen you say it to my face is stuff I would reply back if I was feeling akward . That's way over the top op . I'd defo he asking him what the hell is that about x

pog100 Mon 04-May-20 14:56:30

It's he always such an emotional idiot? It's obviously a more or less unrequited crush, though it sounds like they've spent a lot of time chatting. Maybe good she's leaving but apart from making a bit of an idiot of himself out doesn't sound too bad.

Honeyroar Mon 04-May-20 14:56:36

Her response wasn’t lukewarm but it doesn’t indicate that anything has gone on or that they’ll stay in touch or meet up.

Does he know that you’ve seen it? Have you discussed it?

antisupermum Mon 04-May-20 14:58:14

His message is cringey and a bit a bit predatory, actually. Too much emphasis on how much time spent together.

Her response seems a lot cooler and final, doesn't require any further communication. Which I assume was her aim.

Tinty Mon 04-May-20 15:02:12

I’d want to know if he would send that same sucky gushy bollocky crap to a male colleague who was leaving.

I think he was fishing (ie now you are leaving, I will flatter you to bits in the hope you will say we can still meet up). I think he is trying to start an affair with the certainty that if she turns him down (as she has), he can just say it is a nice goodbye text.

Bet he texts her in a few weeks, just to see how she is getting on. As she is just a friend etc.

yesterdaystotalsteps123 Mon 04-May-20 15:02:27

Well she doesn't sound horrified. How he ends it is so cringe. I'm mortified for you. He's got some explaining to do

Greentrees33 Mon 04-May-20 15:02:39

This was 2 years ago. We had major issues in our relationship due to miscarriages I’d had. I was grieving (but didn’t understand why I was so emotionally pained) and he was grieving in his own way but never showed it so I would get angry at him because I felt he did not care or love those babies.

I became detached and slightly emotionally abusive and he became an angry person and suicidal. He found some happiness in her during those dark months. He said she was the only one who was ‘nice’ to him and noticed he was down those months (but thought it was due to work). We broke up after this for a short period where I saw other people, he did not as he was focusing on his mental health.

I suppose I have posted this today since we had a counselling session with our grief counsellor and this has brought up various emotions /memories.

Sorry if this is all jumbled, I am not in a very good place right now and this text was always left unresolved.

OP’s posts: |
Scbchl Mon 04-May-20 15:03:03

The "hope to meet you in the next life", I'd take as him implying if he werent already taken he would be interested in being with her. I'd be fuming at my husband sending that. He abs a crush and I'm wondering why he is socialising it at all. Is it to test the waters now they arent colleagues and see if she is up for something. Her reply isnt indicative of her having a crush back though just of being fond of him.

Greentrees33 Mon 04-May-20 15:04:00

To those who are saying they’d lose the plot if they discovered their partner sent this to another woman, I did too. He always said it was a nothing message. Deleted her number had no intention to
Keep in touch ( he had indeed done this before I confronted him)

OP’s posts: |
Scbchl Mon 04-May-20 15:06:53

Oh if it was two years ago and nothing happened with them but you had all that going on and split up after etc then I dont think it's good to be bringing it back up now. Its water under the bridge and you admit you both had your negative parts you played in the relationship. You either want to be together or dont, I dont think going over this now is going to help you move on. I'd likely have a discussion to get closure on it then move on.

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