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Breakup during lockdown?

(11 Posts)
the30thIsOnHoldInLockdown Sat 02-May-20 19:41:06

I think this is the third post from me recently.. I have no one to talk to at the minute, it's just me and my thoughts. I can't make phone calls without being overheard so here goes post number three (thank you for all the advice so far!!)

I've decided to break up with my partner of 5 and a half years. We have no children (yes I know this is 'mums'net but honestly it's also just the best place for frank and honest advice) but we own a home together.

Now I need help with the break up. Would you do it during lockdown? Or after? (Whenever that will be!).

I've thought about scenarios for during lockdown:
1. He moves into his parents big house, I stay here
2. I go sleep on my dad's sofa, he stays here
3. We both stay here and I stay in the spare bedroom and we try to plan the house sell during lockdown (ideal situation but least likely!!)

Any help as always will be appreciated! X

OP’s posts: |
blueglassandfreesias Sat 02-May-20 19:49:50

Don’t leave your house. Stay put. Get him to go.

HollowTalk Sat 02-May-20 19:55:06

What will his reaction be? That would determine my answer. If he said "Yeah you're right" then I'd say get yourselves down to B&Q for some paint and spend lockdown doing up the house ready for sale. If he's going to be aggressive or angry, I'd get the hell out of there.

the30thIsOnHoldInLockdown Sat 02-May-20 19:58:20

@HollowTalk I think he'll be devastated. It's going to break his heart, but we've had issues we just can't overcome.

Maybe he'll be better off with his parents to be honest - he's really close to them.

OP’s posts: |
4thplanettotheleft Sat 02-May-20 20:01:51

I’ve just commented on your other thread. His heart may “break” at you ending his cosy life/routine, but he’s done nothing to sort out his issues, so he can wallow all he likes. Nothing will change, these types never do. Being the older “you” who didn’t leave, I feel angry on your behalf.

I think in your shoes try to get him to go. Good luck!!

ThirtyAndASmidgen Sat 02-May-20 20:05:54

Posting here from your other thread. When I left my ex, I told him to leave. I then told his parents what had happened and that they should expect him at their home. Could you do something like that?

ThirtyAndASmidgen Sat 02-May-20 20:07:30

I would also add that my ex was heartbroken when I ended it, but it became clear very quickly that he was not willing to put in any real effort to try and change. His outbursts were all about HIS feelings and how hurt he was, with no acknowledgement of mine at all. That proved I’d made the right decision.

HatRack Sat 02-May-20 20:32:48

Have you suggested he leave?

You could always say you're having an affair. That'll get him to go.

longtimecomin Sat 02-May-20 20:36:06

Don't leave the house until your have legal advice, you might put him in a better position than you.

the30thIsOnHoldInLockdown Sun 03-May-20 09:49:02

I brought up the subject last night and it is the weirdest thing ever. He got upset and said he didn't want to break up with me then we cried a bit. Then he said 'come on let's watch the tele and forget it'. Now its morning and we've had breakfast together and nothings been mentioned. Wtf?

I mentioned that we might need some space to get our heads around it. I think I'll tell him to go spend a few days at his parents house because I'M the one who needs space.

Honest my heads bloody battered!!

OP’s posts: |
4thplanettotheleft Sun 03-May-20 11:36:56

Oh goodness OP, so he swept all of your words under the carpet!! And decided that tv was obviously the riveting way to distract from the issues. He will NEVER EVER change. Of course he wants you to stay, you’re a companion. Hope he leaves soon!

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