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What should I do?

(8 Posts)
Charles120 Sat 02-May-20 01:13:30

So long story I have been seeing a bloke pre lockdown and all was great I’d see him on my free weekends (was great I’d see him on my free weekends (he’s not been around my kids made that mistake once before) we hadn’t go to the exclusive part before we got trapped in lockdown but carried in talking phoning etc which has been fine.. with chats about when we’re allowed out going out him coming over! Then this week on Wednesday whilst I’m at work he sends a txt to say his ex has been in contact and she’s moving back and wants to see him. And he’s confused and doesn’t want to talk to me as he doesn’t want to hurt me and he’s confused! So even though I’m upset I say fine and Thankyou for letting me know. Then the next day txts to say he can’t stop thinking about me to which I tell him he need to figure out what he wants! Now tonight he turned up at my house unexpected saying he cAnt stop thinking about me! But can’t promise what will happen etc when his ex comes back but atm has no intentions of starting that up again and wants to get to know me so like a twat I sleep with him but now I’m panicked because he could change his mind again soon... can someone who still has feelings for there ex actually fall for someone else or am I kidding myself? not been around my kids made that mistake once before) we hadn’t go to the exclusive part before we got trapped in lockdown but carried in talking phoning etc which has been fine.. with chats about when we’re allowed out going out him coming over! Then this week on Wednesday whilst I’m at work he sends a txt to say his ex has been in contact and she’s moving back and wants to see him. And he’s confused and doesn’t want to talk to me as he doesn’t want to hurt me and he’s confused! So even though I’m upset I say fine and Thankyou for letting me know. Then the next day txts to say he can’t stop thinking about me to which I tell him he need to figure out what he wants! Now tonight he turned up at my house unexpected saying he cAnt stop thinking about me! But can’t promise what will happen etc when his ex comes back but atm has no intentions of starting that up again and wants to get to know me so like a twat I sleep with him but now I’m panicked because he could change his mind again soon... can someone who still has feelings for there ex actually fall for someone else or am I kidding myself?

OP’s posts: |
pog100 Sat 02-May-20 07:52:45

He sounds like a headfuck at the moment, a horny headfuck who fancied a shag. I would leave him dumped until he sorts himself out. This just looks like a lot of trouble

neverknewsomany Sat 02-May-20 08:00:41

Walk away now. He is keeping you dangling in case things don't work out with his ex.

ChristmasFluff Sat 02-May-20 08:13:45

Whenever there is confusion, there's toxicity.

I agree with the previous ;posters. He's managing down your expectations so that if it doesn't work out with his ex, you will welcome him back with open arms. If you haven't died of COVID-19 due to breaking sleeping with him during lockdown. This shows that he is a boundary-buster, and that you have weak boundaries. It's symbolic of so much that would happen in this relationship were it to continue.

Dump and block. He is definitely a headfuck, and I 100 per cent promise you will regret staying in contact with him.

Offside Sat 02-May-20 08:15:07

Are you not in lockdown like the rest of us? Very foolish of you to risk yours and your kids lives for a booty call.

WannaBeMonica Sat 02-May-20 08:22:31

When someone is telling you who they are listen.

It could be the ex, it could be someone new, but either way he is not ready to commit to you.

Charles120 Sat 02-May-20 09:46:03

I am so annoyed with myself for breaking lockdown for him I can only imagine he came because he knew that the kids wouldn’t be here and after his txt about his ex and my reply I haven’t contacted him. Even though he contacted me saying he missed me.
I have woken up more ashamed of myself for letting him back in as I know this is just a way of being able to have his cake and eat it but I really fell for him before this and was actually gutted when he sent that txt

OP’s posts: |
neverknewsomany Sat 02-May-20 10:18:58

You have nothing to be ashamed about. It was a mistake and you learn from it. Cut things off with this guy now and work on yourself.

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