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Do you ever feel like you are not good enough?

(18 Posts)
onestepat Fri 01-May-20 11:26:38

There's a guy and at first it was like he was proud that I was interested in him.
Now I feel like I'm constantly chasing for attention.
It feels like I make all the effort with texting him.
Some days he gives me a lot of attention and makes me feel special then others (most of this week) I feel like an annoyance.
I feel like I must be boring or not attractive enough to keep him interested.
I feel constantly in competition with other women to keep him interested.
I'm sick of it,I don't think I'm boring and I think I'm ok looking.
He makes me feel like I'm none of them things.
It's all on his terms.
I don't know who he thinks he is sometimes.
I just don't feel good enough for him.
I feel he's constantly looking for "better"
Constantly chasing other women's attention for a ego boost.
I'm sick of never being enough in his eyes.

OP’s posts: |
littlebirdieblue Fri 01-May-20 11:32:04

I've been here, and the best thing to do is stop contacting him. He's keeping you as an option and you are worth much more than that. When a man is truly interested you will know, there will be no doubt and no second guessing, you will know by his actions. This man is showing you that he just isn't that in to you. Stop chasing him you deserve better than he is offering you.

category12 Fri 01-May-20 11:47:48

Stop then. You really need to stop.

Never chase someone who makes you feel like this. Gather up your dignity and walk away from it completely and never look back.

You deserve someone who makes you feel enough. It's so important.

billy1966 Fri 01-May-20 11:50:56

Why would you hand over your self esteem to this man for him to toss around like a ball?

Why are you allowing yourself to be made such a fool of.

Do you really imagine that he's suddenly going to gave a lightbulb moment and start treating you with respect?

Why would he OP?

You are not treating yourself with respect, why would he?

He's shown you EXACTLY who he is.

He's a player.

He's loving you chasing around begging him for his attention.

Before you can expect respect from any man, you need to have self respect.

You deserve so much better that this twat.

Don't contact him again.

Work on your boundaries and on how you would like to be treated.

Guys like him are a waste of time.


PeanutDouglas Fri 01-May-20 11:52:06

He’s a cunt, move on

onestepat Fri 01-May-20 11:55:57

I'm 100% stopping.
I do him favours and feel it doesn't get appreciated.
He's still on tinder and POF
So will be messaging randoms
He would rather do that than have a decent relationship with anyone.
He's choice I know.
I just feel like I'm allowing someone to mess around with my feelings /heart.
It's my own doing tho.

OP’s posts: |
category12 Fri 01-May-20 11:57:38

Ghost him and block everywhere.

redcarbluecar Fri 01-May-20 11:57:59

Why do you want to keep him interested - do you really like him?

onestepat Fri 01-May-20 11:59:36

I do really like him.
I know it's never going to amount to anything tho,it's obvious.
He's told me he doesn't do serious,anytime it feels like we are enjoying spending time together..he's off and you don't see him for dust.

OP’s posts: |
MaeDanvers Fri 01-May-20 12:03:54

Some people do this - they hook you in and once they’re sure of your interest tail it off because they’re not really looking to get closer or have a mutual relationship.

Womenwotlunch Fri 01-May-20 12:04:57

Please stop Op, he doesn’t respect you. It will all end in tears

redcarbluecar Fri 01-May-20 12:11:05

From the title of your OP it sounds as though you're being pretty hard on yourself about this. You may not really be compatible at the moment - you want a level of commitment; he's told you he 'doesn't do serious', so he's not going to make you - or any other woman - happy in a relationship. His casual approach may work for some, but he isn't a prize to which women can only aspire. Sounds like you're doing the right thing in stopping, but this isn't an indication of personal failure on your part.

category12 Fri 01-May-20 12:11:10

You really liking him isn't reciprocated. Know when to call it quits.

baileys6904 Fri 01-May-20 12:13:40

I've always thought Im not good enough.

The difference is my DP does and builds me up every day to believe it.

Get yourself a man like that instead OP. I've been through some real arse holes but got there in the end

MaeDanvers Fri 01-May-20 12:18:13

Oh and it’s not that you’re not good enough. He has said he’s not up for a real relationship. Are you falling into the trap of thinking that you can change him into committed boyfriend material if only you were ‘better’ somehow?

GilbertMarkham Fri 01-May-20 12:38:52

He's told me he doesn't do serious

I understand people think that this might change, which is why they inflict this shif on themselves.

But the vast vast majority of the time, it doesn't change.

He told you what he does, what he wants (or doesn't want). That was v unlikely to change and hasnt. Leave him to it.

If someone says anything like this again, know that it's v unlikely to change and think "on to the next".

GilbertMarkham Fri 01-May-20 12:39:15


GilbertMarkham Fri 01-May-20 12:47:28

I do really like him.

I bet part of the reason for that is that he's elusive, inconsistent etc and that creates an excitement and gratification when he engages etc.

It makes them seen high status and desirable.

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