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Split from boyfriend, my choice , so why do I feel sad?

(11 Posts)
Wingingitlikeapro Thu 30-Apr-20 18:29:42

As the title says I split up with my boyfriend on Monday , we had been together only 8 months but spent a lot of time together and clicked as soon as we met. For the last few weeks all we have done is argue and bicker and the longer I didn’t see him during lockdown I realised I didn’t really miss him so I thought the best thing to do was cut ties and said maybe once his all blows over we could maybe reconnect, he was very upset about this and to be honest I felt relieved once I told him. Now today I have been feeling quite sad about it and quite down even though it was my decision and the right one if I was so miserable. Not sure if I miss him or just the thought of having someone there. Just looking for people who have been in a similar situation who have ended a relationship and felt crap about it , is it normal?

OP’s posts: |
Dragonsanddinosaurs Thu 30-Apr-20 18:32:47

Totally normal. I'm sure you had hopes for the relationship, which have now come to nothing. More a case of missing the partner you hoped you had, rather than the one you actually did.

WineLover1234 Thu 30-Apr-20 18:34:12

This is completely normal! You were together for 8 months you can't just switch your feelings off my lovely. I don't think it helps we are on lock down. If we weren't you could meet with friends or family and have human contact to see you through! Sorry if this hasn't helped but didn't want to read and run flowers

Loveabitofrain Fri 01-May-20 21:28:43

Similar to how I am feeling. Ended things Sunday.

I miss having someone around but then remember I don’t miss the rows!x

Lampan Fri 01-May-20 22:33:13

I think it’s very normal for both people to feel sad at the end of a relationship. It sounds like you ended things for sensible reasons, and you felt relieved, which is a sign you did the right thing.
I think often the one who decides to end things can have a tough time cos as well as sadness there can be other feelings mixed in, such as doubt, confusion and sometimes even regret. You will get likely past these feelings.

Elieza Fri 01-May-20 22:46:44

You’re grieving for what could have been. It’s tough but totally normal. You’ll be fine in due course. He wasn’t the one flowers

NoMoreDickheads Sat 02-May-20 01:08:21

A lot of people feel sad even if they are the one that instigates a break up. Maybe it's the disappointment that things didn't work out as they hoped at the start. Or some may feel guilt, or miss having someone for company. All sorts of reasons.

I'm sure you'll eventually mostly feel the relief though. Well done for finishing something that wasn't right. xxx

NoMoreDickheads Sat 02-May-20 01:14:40

To clarify- people can feel guilt even when it's unwarranted..

But the sadness needn't be guilt, it can be a whole range of reasons.

wantingahome Sat 02-May-20 01:50:52

I'm really glad I found this post to follow as I am going through a similar situation. Hope you fine happiness again soon! 💗

Sugartitss Sat 02-May-20 06:19:58

maybe you were too hasty?

Wingingitlikeapro Wed 13-May-20 18:57:11

Thank you for all your replies, it’s made me feel better and I now know it was the right thing to do 💕 I hope who’s in a similar position can feel better too xxx

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