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Time to get out of this toxic relationship

(11 Posts)
shakiwulub9 Thu 30-Apr-20 13:49:45

Just that really.
I have tried twice in the past year, each time my boyfriend has played the "I cannot live without you" and "life isn't worth it if you're not around" card. I had a lot of stress going on in my family at the time so typical me I fell for all of this and took him back. 12 months on, I'm happy, in a good job, with a great family around me, and he really isn't bringing any value to my life whatsoever. I talk to him on the daily because I have to, not because I want to.
Lockdown has made me realise that I truly can live without him - I haven't seen him for 6 weeks and it's been fabulous! I haven't missed him once. I've had some really good Skype/Zoom calls with friends, playing quiz nights and having a drink and a laugh with them. It's opened my eyes to the fun that is out there and the fun I could be having when lockdown is over.
I'm just so scared to end it because I am scared of the emotional manipulation.
He has never done me wrong as such, but the relationship spark has certainly fizzled out, and it just isn't making me happy anymore.
What do I do? What do I say? Can I do it during lockdown or is it best to wait until this is all over?

My BF and I are both 23 if that helps. We do not live together. Tia x

OP’s posts: |
Bananalanacake Thu 30-Apr-20 14:09:06

You are not responsible for someone else's happiness

mummmy2017 Thu 30-Apr-20 14:17:42

Maybe tell him that you are treat this as a trial separation, but that you can't see a way back, that he needs to see you both want different things
Only answer his calls if you want to.

redcarbluecar Thu 30-Apr-20 14:23:11

Sounds as though you're making the right decision about the relationship, and it's good in a way that you've had this forced separation to make you realise it. All the best.

ErickBroch Thu 30-Apr-20 14:29:05

He is threatening suicide and self-harm to manipulate you and it's worked so far. I had the same when leaving an abusive relationshup. He took an 'overdose' but surprisingly it wasn't enough to do any damage! You have a great opportunity to end it now - do it! Be free!

Khione Thu 30-Apr-20 14:40:04

you are not responsible for his happiness

end it and block him if he starts to be a pain

shakiwulub9 Sat 02-May-20 19:24:36

Just to say thank you all so much - I did it!!!

OP’s posts: |
pog100 Sat 02-May-20 19:25:44

Great, well done!

Windyatthebeach Sat 02-May-20 19:27:00

Well done op!!

shakiwulub9 Sat 02-May-20 20:56:58

It is a huge relief, I felt very nervous before I did it, but I fought the feelings, I knew deep down in my head and my heart that this was the right thing to do for me.
But, as quite a relief this time, he said he wasn't surprised, that he saw it coming, and that he agreed it was for the best now.

I feel such a weight off my shoulders!

OP’s posts: |
Sux2buthen Sat 02-May-20 21:07:55

Congratulations wine that sounds like a huge relief. Enjoy it lol

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