I feel like I am not thinking straight and I probably need some unbiased outsider perspective. I have asked for advice here before but it feels like things have developed since then. I really appreciate the advice given here.
I have been married to my husband for almost 9 months, I had wanted to postpone the wedding largely due to bereavements I had suffered and also we had started living together in the year running up to the wedding, we had been having some quite bad fights etc. My now husband gave me an ultimatum or marry or he leaves me.
We have been getting along okay sometimes, less good at times and things the past 3 months have been tragic mostly. He had left at my request as I couldn't do it anymore.
I told him whilst he was away that it was definitely over for me, but he turned up at the house and I was having a weak moment I guess and I took him back. We've since clashed again and I once again felt like it should end, but due to the lock down he said he wouldn't go until it was over.
Last night we had a big chat but we ended up basically saying we did miss each other and maybe we could try again. He has always been for making things work, whereas I am holding a lot of resentment for his ultimatum. I don't know how to work past it and he says now I have to move on.
Our other issues essentially stem from him having a short fuse with differing opinions to him (In a nutshell) and I am incredibly non confrontational and timid/generally easy going. We have fights (Where he basically raises his voice etc and I say very little) it feels like there is little hope for how we are. He spoke to a counsellor online this week, and says he is going to keep this up in the hope that he can sort his issues with anger out.
Am I being deluded into thinking this can work? I feel like I would miss him, but I also felt like I was resolved that it was over. Him coming back and being here to stay has made things really confusing, as he has been acting really nicely to me. Part of me wonders if he is just determined to wear me down no matter what, as it never felt like he listened and heard me when I said it was over.
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Am I being deluded to give this another try?
17 replies
serendipity909 · 29/04/2020 07:43
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