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Is anyone else’s partner like this ?

(14 Posts)
Nojoke12 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:27:14

Hi all I’ve posted before but slightly changed subject ,

So basically I think my partner has signs of Aspergers /autism
He seriously lacks empathy towards me can never see where I’m coming from , he never tells me he loves me unless I say it even then he hesitant to let his pride drop to say it , he’s always around me like a child touching me poking me until I end up really shouting at him which was obviously his goal while he walks off all proud and I’m left really emotional and frustrated he hates confrontation so we can never discuss our problems ever he sits there in silence doesn’t know what to say to me, I’ve left him a couple times and tbh I don’t think he cared if anything he thought it was a vacation for himself to do what he wanted to do , we also have kids together he’s an amazing dad but there’s no discipline where he’s concerned so I’m the bad mom he’s the fun dad ? Is anyone had anything fimiliar ? He also has no friends , his family are close to him because there that type of family otherwise he wouldn’t even bother ? He never wants to go out if he had it his way we will stay in forever he never suggests places even when I’m paying he’d just rather sit inside on his phone then the thought of going out even though when we’re out we have a good time , I’m just at loss ?? Can anyone help ?

OP’s posts: |
Herpesfreesince03 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:29:41

If he’s always been like this and there’s a medical reason for it, I’m not sure what we can suggest

category12 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:31:22

So why are you with him when he doesn't meet your emotional needs and presumably never has?

What makes him "amazing" as a dad?

Nojoke12 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:31:38

I have tried to discuss that there might be something else as he doesn’t understand why he is like it either but he won’t go and see anyone :/

OP’s posts: |
Nojoke12 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:34:22

We’ve been together 10 years it’s only since a couple years ago he’s started acting this way and it’s hard to cope with , I’m not a high maintenance person so I didn’t need much but lately things have just become clearer I just wanted to see if anyone has gone through the same ?

OP’s posts: |
Tableclothing Tue 28-Apr-20 21:35:44

he’s an amazing dad but there’s no discipline where he’s concerned

That's not an amazing dad. Children need boundaries, "designed with love and patrolled with determination" as Tom Bennett would say. If he leaves all the discipline to you he is letting them down.

No one can help you change him. All you can do is decide whether what you have now is good enough for the rest of your life, and act accordingly.

Nojoke12 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:36:21

He cares deeply for our kids provides e wry thing they need , which is what I’m confused with as he shows every kind of affection and need to our children but I don’t get anything which makes me wonder is he doing it purposely ?

OP’s posts: |
Tableclothing Tue 28-Apr-20 21:37:21

If these behaviours have started in the last couple of years then it isn't autism, which is a lifelong condition.

newyear123 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:37:32

Irrespective of what you've diagnosed him with, he sounds like a prick.

Do you really want to spend the rest of your one and precious life, with someone who pokes you until you shout? Wtf. Get a divorce OP. Move on. Make him some other sucker's problem.

Nojoke12 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:37:50

Thank you for all your comments , I honestly do love him but lately I can’t see a future if he refuses to change or seek help :/

OP’s posts: |
Branleuse Tue 28-Apr-20 21:39:03

Maybe its just not working anymore?

Nojoke12 Tue 28-Apr-20 21:40:33

It’s hard where do I start what do I do , :/

OP’s posts: |
MrsBobDylan Tue 28-Apr-20 21:43:23

It doesn't sound like autism. He sounds like he is trying to provoke you into a reaction then stonewalls you.

It sounds like a terrible environment for children, especially if you have split up a couple of times and got back together.

If he won't acknowledge or talk about the problems, refuses to change or get help, then there is nothing you can do except break up and build a better life for yourself without him

fuckoffImcounting Wed 29-Apr-20 16:45:42

You are not having much fun with this man. Is this what you want for your future? It does not sound like autism if it only came on a couple of years ago, it sounds like he has checked out of the relationship.

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