Ok so this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a little friendly female encouragement/advice I guess. Particularly no judgement if you can!
So a quick breakdown, I was in an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship for 8 years, (I didn’t quite figure this out until we married) long story short I left in an absolute haste and suffered a breakdown and brief psychotic episode as a result. I have one child with this man. We are in the middle of our divorce which I filed for on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and had granted. Just waiting for final papers to come through! It was v.messy. Police & social involved and not my finest hour to say the least.
I started seeing a friend quite soon after this happened as he was a real source of support for me and we had both had undeclared feelings for each other for a long time. We have now been together 6 months and I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant! 🤦🏼♀️😵 it was not entirely planned but frankly not entirely avoided either, we are very happy, both older & wiser than previous relationships and were both very happy when we found out. Family on both sides also ecstatic and very supportive! Have not told my child yet, however despite ex’s protests they are very happy with new partner as already knew them before we became an item!
What I am struggling with however is the idea of ex finding out, how he will treat our child as a result and the resulting judgement from others. He is a classic abusive personality, very charming and constantly playing the victim. Suffice to say me and new partner were heavily accused of having all sorts of affairs and had to essentially go into hiding for a short period as a result of these rumours.
I guess I’m just looking for a little encouragement. I’m still mentally healing from the abuse, which seriously tore me a new one. I am for the most part mentally healthy, not on medication but your usual amount of Mum anxious and sometimes have low episodes. However after everything that happened last year and due to years of therapy the ex convinced me I needed, I couldn’t have a better understanding of my own mental health. But as you can probably tell, I am worried about how to cope with the inevitable judgement from my former circle of people. Lockdown is helping us keep things quiet for now of course!
I’m just in my head I guess and am hoping this might help in some small way!
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In the middle of messy divorce, pregnant with new partner.
16 replies
Muminterrupted91 · 27/04/2020 18:01
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