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Dad doesnt have time for our son

(11 Posts)
Spinxy38 Mon 27-Apr-20 16:10:38

Ok so hear goes, I've recently left a relationship with my sons dad, as he decided he wanted to go back to his ex for the sake of his other children, that's cool whatever makes people happy, but am I being unrealistic for wanting him to still come across and see his son, I have asked him several times to have him overnight and I always get the same reply I'm busy I have a lot on, and then he says i keep barking orders at him to have his son when hes busy, hes never paid anything towards the upbringing of our son so i have now asked for money each month as we are both responsible for bringing our son up but he us refusing so I have said i will go through csa to get money off him, he is working so why should he not contribute, well I got called a cu## for that remark, am I being unreasonable for wanting him to still spend time with our son, he doesnt have a cae atm so I offered to drop him off but still no, i feel like I'm begging him to see his son, alot of fathers have to fight to see their kids ask I in the wrong hear ... sorry its along post but I'm confused as to why he wouldn't want to see his son .. thankyou for reading any help or advise is much appreciated x

OP’s posts: |
Windyatthebeach Mon 27-Apr-20 16:13:44

Does his ex know you have his dc?

Spinxy38 Mon 27-Apr-20 16:15:59

Yes she does

OP’s posts: |
Fanthorpe Mon 27-Apr-20 16:19:41

I’m really sorry you’re in this situation, but it seems clear he’s not interested in having a relationship. Is your son old enough to be asking for his Dad?

I’d pursue some financial help, but I think if I was you I’d stop getting in touch with him, it sounds like it’s breaking your heart a bit.

Maybe you’ll be glad he’s gone someday in the future, he doesn’t sound like he’s a good man for you or your boy.

Fedhimtotigers Mon 27-Apr-20 16:20:51

Have you contacted CMA?

Spinxy38 Mon 27-Apr-20 16:24:02

Thank you for your response our son is nearly 3 so well aware who his daddy is and it breaks my heart that he doesnt seem to want to have anything to do with him, i ok in myself I'm old enough to understand how things work but my boy is just that a boy and he wants his daddy, I have an older daughter who lost her dad just over 2 years ago he took an overdose and she still gets upset over that I just cant understand why hes turned his back, i get he doesnt want me but what's our boy ever done to deserve it

OP’s posts: |
Spinxy38 Mon 27-Apr-20 16:25:04

I havnt as yet, I've asked for all the relevant information but he wont give it to me

OP’s posts: |
Fedhimtotigers Mon 27-Apr-20 16:26:04

I would just open a case with what you have.

timetest Mon 27-Apr-20 16:33:24

Definitely start a claim now as the payment starts from the time cms contact him. It’s not right and it’s not fair to your child that his father ignores him but you can’t force someone to be a good father and decent human being.

Fanthorpe Mon 27-Apr-20 16:34:50

I don’t think you’re going to change his mind, and if you force him then your son might not get the best of his Dad anyway, who wants to feel resented? It’s awful to be so let down, it sounds like you really want the best for your kids, and their pain is hard to stand. They still have you though.

Flumo Mon 27-Apr-20 16:35:30

Personally I wouldn't force him to have a relationship with his son, you can provide him with everything he needs. Definitely go though csa, good luck hope it all works out for you.

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