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He’s messaging someone isn’t he

(108 Posts)
Loveabitofrain Sun 26-Apr-20 04:47:52

So I’ve had issues with my partner in the past re messaging woman. In all honesty I’ve never trusted him since. Yeah I know why am I still with him. Very good question.

Big row last week where I explain how it’s all made me feel and I don’t trust him, conversation ended with him understanding and promising to help more with that.

We had a few drinks tonight and I went to bed an hour or so before him. He comes up and his phone goes twice (text). Snoring his head off. I looked at his phone to see who messages are from. Something doesn’t feel right. Bear in mind it’s 3am. His phone says “2 iMessages from JoJo”.

I’ve woken him to find out and got the usual abuse. Won’t show me and claims he’s talking to a woman off twitter about all the lockdown business. She gave him her number. He’s been very active debating on Twitter (I can see it all).

It’s bullshit right ladies?! This is typical gaslighting isn’t it??

I’ve just been on his Instagram and there is a woman there calling herself Jojo. Old school friend. Bit too much of a coincidence huh?!

OP’s posts: |
Janaih Sun 26-Apr-20 04:53:07

Stop torturing yourself, finish with him. He wont ever admit to it. Even if you had proof he would still deny it.

WonderWomanBra Sun 26-Apr-20 04:56:11

Well why is she messaging him at 3am?I think you should confront him over this,even if he gives you abuse.

Loveabitofrain Sun 26-Apr-20 04:59:43

Oh it’s over! I made that promise to myself,

But yes I will confront him just for my own peace of mind.

I’m so angry!!

OP’s posts: |
carolebaskinsheadband Sun 26-Apr-20 05:01:34

You know you don't trust him. Put your self respect and self worth first. Leave him and keep away from him.

DBML Sun 26-Apr-20 05:03:27

I’m shit with relationship advice, but I do know you deserve better than this.

Thepigeonsarecoming Sun 26-Apr-20 05:06:37

You already know he’s emotionally if not physically cheating on you. What do you plan to do now?

Loveabitofrain Sun 26-Apr-20 05:08:58

I plan on ending it. I made myself a promise and I’ll stick to it.

I have a whole heap of shit going on and am in court with my ex over our children.

I’m Emotionally battered and can’t deal with much more.

OP’s posts: |
WonderWomanBra Sun 26-Apr-20 05:14:09

Stay strong girl!Keep us updated.x

Thepigeonsarecoming Sun 26-Apr-20 05:16:16

@Loveabitofrain stay strong, you’ve been through enough shit before, this is just a blip

Loveabitofrain Sun 26-Apr-20 05:17:07

Thanks ladies. I’ll keep you updated x

OP’s posts: |
Weenurse Sun 26-Apr-20 05:30:31

You don’t need this crap in your life right now.

Princesspickle777 Sun 26-Apr-20 05:45:25

No you can’t trust him and your instincts are obviously right. He may have told you the truth and is Only messaging ‘jojo’ from twitter about
Lockdown but this won’t be all it’s about!.

Loveabitofrain Sun 26-Apr-20 09:49:55

I’ve found said jojo on Twitter. Same political affiliation as my other half and opinion on lockdown. Got some mouth on her! Married with kids. Was getting a hammering on Twitter early hours.

No facility to dm. Don’t now much about twitter but presumably she can message others??

Either way no need for an exchange of numbers is there??

OP’s posts: |
Janaih Sun 26-Apr-20 09:52:28

What do you hope to achieve by playing detective? It wont give you peace of mind.

Loveabitofrain Sun 26-Apr-20 09:54:46

I think it’s up to me what gives me peace of mind!

I’m here for support not criticism.

OP’s posts: |
Onacleardayyoucansee Sun 26-Apr-20 09:56:49

You say you confronted him and he gave you the 'usual abuse', if he cant have a conversation with you and reassure you its probably time to tell him to go anyway, regardless.
Why is it ok that he speaks to you abusively?

The phone number thing is crossing your boundaries and thats your intuition prodding you, as you have been here before.

Maybe take some time to focus on your self, this is all a bit much when you are fragile anyway.

Put yourself first, your feelings, your peace, your wellbeing.

Buggedandconfused Sun 26-Apr-20 09:58:24

I’ve been there & couldn’t deal with it. Dump him & have peace - you’ll never have it once trust has gone.

copycopypaste Sun 26-Apr-20 10:01:13

He obviously wants to talk to women, even when you've discussed it and he agreed not to do it again. Regardless of the topic of conversation with these women, he's trampling all over your boundaries

moonriverandme Sun 26-Apr-20 10:01:41

I belive that if you follow each other on Twitter you can dm.

moonriverandme Sun 26-Apr-20 10:03:16


Loveabitofrain Sun 26-Apr-20 10:06:14

Thanks for the sensible talk ladies x

OP’s posts: |
Daisy12Maisie Sun 26-Apr-20 10:10:16

I have close make friends from work that I message but the messages are absolutely not private. I dont have a partner but if I did him reading them wouldnt be a problem. I think it's the secrecy not the messages that's a problem. Once the trust is gone it's gone. Get rid and good luck for the court case.

Daisy12Maisie Sun 26-Apr-20 10:10:36

Male friends

Kittykat93 Sun 26-Apr-20 10:18:23

If he wouldn't show you the messages he's obviously guilty. Don't think there's much else too it!

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