Advanced search

Phone checking

(37 Posts)
beanpot1 Sat 25-Apr-20 04:02:29

I know I'll be shot down for doing it but I honestly think most have snooped their partners at sometime or another...

So my dp has a Xs iphone. His text messages I think still appear on locked screen but I'll watch out tomorrow to double check that's still the case.
While we have been on lock down I've gotten this little habit of when he's in the shower etc , if you hit the screen on locked then swipe up from the bottom you can see if he had a email , been tagged on fb , all general notifications. But now I cant see anything it asks for pin or Face ID so he must have changed his setting a right?? I'm not familiar with the Xs but can only think it's that.. so now I'm stressing as to why he's changed it. I know the pin password but I've never opened his phone for a proper snoop and I'm pretty sure that's the same as I saw him type it in last night. So surely if he had something to hide his phone would be in complete lockdown. Am I being a twat or is this something I need to worry about.. what do you think

OP’s posts: |
LiteraryType Sat 25-Apr-20 07:13:57

Try the passcode and see. Maybe he didn't have any notifications when you checked.

category12 Sat 25-Apr-20 07:23:13

Why have you got into the habit of checking his phone? Has he form for cheating?

I imagine he's figured out you're looking and is thwarting you either cos he's pissed off or another reason.

brentwoodbaby Sat 25-Apr-20 07:24:20

If he leaves his phone about when he's in the shower he's not hiding anything.

Stop looking, I understand people doing it if they need evidence of an affair etc if weird behaviour indicates it but he leaves his phone around and you know his passcode; there's nothing dodgy going on there.


TimeForChange123 Sat 25-Apr-20 07:26:42

He knows you've been snooping.

mamaof2girls Sat 25-Apr-20 07:27:07

I have the Xs max and no you can't read the messages etc that comes through as it ask for Face ID etc it's not like the other iPhones it actually hides the message says who it's from but not the actuall message my partner also has the same phone but both our Face ID are on each other's plus both know each other pins but I don't check his phone or anything!

WeMarchOn Sat 25-Apr-20 07:29:18

I have same phone and its face id or passcode for me too

Tiredemma Sat 25-Apr-20 07:34:10

Why are you doing this?

Rumpusinthejungle Sat 25-Apr-20 07:49:07

The sudden change could be because of an update, or it could be that he has something to hide - does he know you know his passcode? If so, he would be unlikely to leave his phone around if he was hiding anything.

You need to give some thought as to why you are doing this. My phone is super-secure and there are things one there that I do not want my DH to see, because I am entitled to some privacy. I would seriously consider ending things if he was snooping.

Thingsdogetbetter Sat 25-Apr-20 08:21:35

Nope. Never snooped on dh's phone. Most people don't!

If OP was a man saying he had 'a little habit' of trying to invade his partner's phone every day, MN would not be giving him tips on how to do it. They'd be screaming invasion of privacy and controlling behaviour!

Spot justifying this as everyone snoops and it's 'a little habit'. It's out of order and you know it. I presume he's clocked you're little invasion of privacy 'habit' and changed his security! And rightly so!

AgentJohnson Sat 25-Apr-20 08:31:11

Stop justifying this as everyone snoops and it's 'a little habit'. It's out of order and you know it.


Apple has a terrible ‘habit’ of making certain settings default in their updates when there weren’t previously.

You have appeared to have gone down the rabbit hole of looking for things to justify invading someone else’s privacy. Check yourself OP.

I have absolutely nothing to hide

sauvignonblancplz Sat 25-Apr-20 08:56:41

OP you’re not serious are you?

mumto2teenagers Sat 25-Apr-20 09:09:02

I’ve never snooped on DH’s phone so don’t think everyone does it. Although if we are out and my battery goes I’ve used his and he gave me the passcode to unlock it so don’t think he has anything to hide. I think I’ve done the same and DH knows mine but not sure he remembers it, again I have nothing to hide so wouldn’t care if he wanted to look through my phone, he wouldn’t though.

He could now want the passcode for a number of reasons, I’ve set mine in case a lose my phone.

I think the bigger issue is your need to snoop. Do you suspect something?

SunShine682 Sat 25-Apr-20 09:14:20

Iv just checked on my iPhone 11 Pro

I locked the screen and swiped up... it just brought up my pin bit.

To see my notifications I have to unlock the phone and swipe down from the top left. I didn’t set it up that way so I’m guessing it happened with the new update.

Ughmaybenot Sat 25-Apr-20 09:17:28

‘This little habit’ stop it. What the hell is wrong with you? He obviously has nothing to hide or he wouldn’t leave his phone on the side while he was in the shower. Honestly I’d be furious if I found out my ‘D’P was doing this, such a complete lack of trust and respect.
So to answer, yes you’re being a twat.

Mary1935 Sat 25-Apr-20 09:22:38

Op are you bored and is this a change in behaviour for you. Where you suspicious before he changed his log in details.

beanpot1 Sat 25-Apr-20 09:56:56

@LiteraryType passcode is the same I watched him put it in this morning 🙂
@SunShine682 thank you for looking this has eased my mind

And for the other reply's, yes I am a twat , I was a twat for 18 years when my ex husband was cheating on me , I had no idea , so I guess I'm damaged goods. Wonderful to read many of you 'wouldn't dream of looking' 'no need to' 👍🏻

OP’s posts: |
Ughmaybenot Sat 25-Apr-20 10:18:02

I’m sorry that happened to you in the past, but you’ll push him away with your lack of trust in him. He isn’t your ex, and to be treated with suspicion with no basis is really hard. Have you looked for help with your insecurity?

category12 Sat 25-Apr-20 10:29:31

You need to address the issue you have, rather than justifying it from your past. Your present bloke is not your ex. You've no business inflicting your emotional baggage on him. You're crossing the line from understandable anxieties into unhealthy behaviours.

I had a cheating ex, it's not that I don't understand what you went through.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Sat 25-Apr-20 12:05:02

If I caught a partner snooping on my phone, I’d end the relationship. No trust no relationship imo.

ErickBroch Sat 25-Apr-20 12:10:00

Not everyone does this at all - i know you are using your past as a reason but its very unfair on your current partner if he has done nothing to make you feel paranoid.

Shoxfordian Sat 25-Apr-20 12:25:46

Yeah he probably realised you were doing it
I'd dump you for this

beanpot1 Sat 25-Apr-20 18:26:19

Well ladies and keyboard warriors, let me give you a little update...

After a day of my partners phone being faced down yeah you know what he got distracted and I thought fuck it opened his phone with the pin!! Oh I hear gasps how dare I, 'I should be dumped' ' what a disgrace' 'my partner should not be held responsible for my ex' let me tell you there was messages after messages from a another woman .... so ladies I'd like to say stick your comments, maybe get off here for 5 mins and engage with your old man who knows what he's up to , see ya

OP’s posts: |
LiteraryType Sat 25-Apr-20 18:33:00


Franticbutterfly Sat 25-Apr-20 18:36:35

If you feel you need to look it's because you have reason not to trust him (speaking from experience I should have checked way earlier than I did).

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in