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Should I, shouldn't I?

(23 Posts)
Rocklover Sat 15-Sep-07 19:10:13

Ok, I'll try to keep it brief, but here goes. I broke up with my ex a few months ago and have recently met a really nice guy. We have been out twice, the second date being 9 hours long lol (no, we didn't do that....we spent the day together, going to pubs, having a few meals and going to the cinema). Anyway, I mentioned that my DD was with her Daddy next weekend and he suggested we go away somewhere, do nice stuff like go to posh restaurants etc. Now I didn't hesitate in saying yes cos A) I like this guy alot and B) I could really do with going away.

Here is the but, we are both very attracted to each other (obv lol) and I can imagine we are both thinking the same thing about the opportunity that will more than likely present itself. There are two questions..1) Am i mad considering going away with him after only 2 dates? And 2) If I sleep with him (YES I would love to actually) will he think I am a complete slapper (although he does know I have only slept with 2 people, so I can't be a huge slut) and never want to date me again?

Thought I better add I am totally pants at dating cos my hubby was my only proper relationship really before my ex and this guy, so I really haven't got a clue about ettiquette. HELP!

Tortington Sat 15-Sep-07 19:14:26

no your not mad - enjoy yourself.

slappers can be picked up 2 a penny at any nightclub - its looks like hes bothered about trying to make an impression - he wouldnt do that for a slapper xxxxx

newlifenewname Sat 15-Sep-07 19:16:55

I really ought not comment on this having just been a 2 date wonder. I regret sleeping with him after 2 dates but as someone said to me, if a bloke sees you as shag potential only, WHEN you sleep with them makes no difference.

yama Sat 15-Sep-07 19:17:44

Sounds like it will be really romantic. Go for it. If you want to sleep with him then I can't see any reason not to.

Why deny yourself just in case he judges you for something he'll be doing himself? (Hope that made sense)

Rocklover Sat 15-Sep-07 19:18:08

Hmmmm, never thought of it that way. God and the last date he paid for everything (he knows I am between jobs), but I felt really guilty. I am soooo rubbish at dating (and I'm 33 FGS), I need lessons.

Dior Sat 15-Sep-07 19:18:17

Message withdrawn

Earlybird Sat 15-Sep-07 19:18:50

How often does your ex have your dd? If it feels too soon, maybe go away the next time your dd is away?

yama Sat 15-Sep-07 19:19:39

Maybe he likes you more because you don't play games.

Rocklover Sat 15-Sep-07 19:21:13

Lol, is hard for me as I ma back with parents after being left high and dry by hubby (we are divorcing now). So my Mum was obv arching her eybrows and tutting loudly and wondering about the slutty sexlives of the young these days lol.

Nlnn, are you still with the guy?

lou33 Sat 15-Sep-07 19:23:53

i went away overnight for my second date and we ended up together for 9months

dont think it matters when you shag tbh as long as you feel it's right

Rocklover Sat 15-Sep-07 19:26:06

Well Yama, I hope so. He's a good mix of very sweet and a little naughty too. We went to the cinema and when the adverts were on he was kissing my face off (in a nice way lol), felt 15 again, was good. But then he kept stroking my cheek, kissing the top of my head etc and he held my hand practically the whole day. He makes me go all goosebumpy. I hope these are good signs...my pervious ex wasn't like this.

Right I'll shut up now. grin

yama Sat 15-Sep-07 19:26:26

Rocklover, don't let anyone be judgemental.

Where were you thinking of going anyway?

Carmenere Sat 15-Sep-07 19:31:09

Go and sleep with him if you want but don't be imagining that he is mr Right yet. It takes a hell of a lot more than a weekend away to be able to read a virtual stranger and as NLNN can testify it may not lead to anything else. But as long as you know this you are on to a winner. ie: go, enjoy but don't read it as a sign that he wants commitment.

lou33 Sat 15-Sep-07 19:31:48

yes, treat it as mr right now instead of mr right, maybe

newlifenewname Sat 15-Sep-07 19:52:41

Dior, he did get in touch but not to ask me out again.

OP, do whatever you feel, but I can indeed testify that Mr wonderful who picks you up and drops you home,pays for everything, takes you on fab dates and talks about future dates he is planning with you whilst simultaneously kissing, stroking and gazing fondly, can indeed turn out to be after one thing only.

I harp on about transactional analysis all the time but I do believe that we can only be ourselves and that we will only ever be a shag to some men - even men who go on to marry their next date! - just as we will always be more than that with others.

If you click, you click and all will be well. So long as you don't have wild expectations you'll be fine even if it all ends tomorrow.

Take it easy, and have fun.

Rocklover Sat 15-Sep-07 20:01:29

Well, I am not looking for a Mr Right, my previous ex scared the shit out of me by being too serious (and very messed up), so I am happy to just have some fun.

But at the same time don't want to feel bad, so maybe I will just have to be strong!

lilacclaire Sat 15-Sep-07 20:06:05

Oh for goodness sake, just go and have some fun, don't read too much into it and just enjoy it for what it is.

PinkChick Sat 15-Sep-07 20:10:57

sounds like it would be the icing on the cake, a lovely day together, not justa quick fumble, he sounds keensmile..god i sound like my mum!

Dior Sat 15-Sep-07 22:11:53

Message withdrawn

yama Sat 15-Sep-07 22:19:34

I sense from your posts that you want to go - so go. Btw, what is his story?

moondog Sat 15-Sep-07 22:21:44

Oh I'd go.
Like a bloody shot.
You only live once,he sounds nice and you sound as if you could do with some fun.

nappynuttynormabutty Sat 15-Sep-07 22:25:03

Go, have fun. If he's meant to be it won't matter whether you shag him on the 2nd date or the 22nd.

Rocklover Sun 16-Sep-07 15:46:44

What's his story? Well, I am not sure just yet, but he seems very laid back and uncomplicated, but his job is quite busy so I am not sure how much of a relationship it could be. We met through Match, so he obv wants to date lol. But we shall see, last boyfriend made me fairly cynical about men's motives and also their reliability.

At this point in time I am not expecting anything, in fact more expecting him to backtrack saying he can't make it (oooh I am such a sunny person, me). Not counting my chickens yet. Nice of him to suggest it though I suppose.

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