Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Just need to have a moan - feel free to ignore!

16 replies

KaySamuels · 14/09/2007 07:33

Grr!

DS is three next month and we have always co-slept. It started one night when he woke up and dp said 'just bring him in with us' I was relived as it meant didn't have to keep gettin up, dp I assume was relieved of guilt as he never got up anyway. We had an attempt at moving him but tbh it was very half hearted and he came back in with us as I was shattered!

Anyway ds is huge and still wakes up 2 or 3 times a night, was showing an interest in his bed so I went for it on wed night. Woke once coughing, gave cough med and he slept through!

Last night kept getting up, finally settled but woke 4 times and I put him bk to bed. On 5th time dp got up (wow I thought) but oh no! DP found ds downstairs and began saying in a loud stern voice 'no ds it's not time to get up, go back to bed'. (ds was crying) grr. He also made him walk back upstairs.

I had already explained I was picking ds up, bk in bed hardly any talking but low and quiet with plenty of shushing.

DP stomps into our room with ds, I say whats the matter dp replies 'i don't know but I am going bk to bed.'

I picked ds up, laid him in bed with only shushing to calm him, with dp huffing and puffing in our room. GRRRRR!!!!

I am so fed up, I miss ds in our bed (although there is more room), and it has made me remember why ds was in our bed in the first place. Because I do everything for ds and dp is a lazy so and so.

When ds was a baby I was really fed up and lonely, dp continued going out with mates, etc, and I felt really peeved. I rememeber feeling very aware that I would be better off (in all ways) on my own with ds, and this morning I am feeling it all over again!

.........sorry it's so long!.......

OP posts:

Report

BecauseImWorthIt · 14/09/2007 07:48

Sorry you're feeling like this

The demands of young children are more than we ever expect they are going to be, and it is for this reason that both parents need to try and adopt the same strategies for coping with them.

It sounds like you need to have a long chat with your dp about this. But don't make it into an argument (which it sounds like you might at the moment!) but explain what you're trying to achieve and what you want him to do/not do.

At least your dp did get up to your ds - and tbh it probably sounds like he was just as fed up with ds as you were! (in terms of being frustrated by continued waking)

You need each other during these years, so should be trying to lay the foundation for an equal partnership. Try and think about things from his pespective as well - are you much fun to be with any more? Sorry to be brutal, but it's very easy to get into a rut of blaming him for things - and believe me, I know that from my own experience!

Hope you feel a bit better from your rant, anyway!